Food for tots.

2007-03-19T04:51:00.000-07:00

YOU CAN STILL FIND ME AT

WWW.SHAMIKHA.BLOGSPOT.COM

=)

2007-03-19T01:03:00.000-07:00

I am soo sick, it's impossible.

I have something in my head and i hope to shake things up here again. I'll see ya!

2007-03-11T12:49:00.000-07:00

I started another anonymous blog to really pour out my feelings because honesty hurts people and there is no one you can really be honest with without hurting their feelings so cheers to my new blog.

However, this blog will remain to be light hearted for people who knows me and are open to judge me. The new one however will be for the side of me who wants to speak her mind but no one willing to listen to it.

Yes. No one.

2007-03-11T05:16:00.002-07:00

The pictures as promised.

@ The Cannery, Clinic

Standard

Peek-a-boo

Bib excited.

Duduk buat per, beb?

Bib, wat are u doing?

half of it

Then off to MOS!

We only managed to take these pics from MOS.

Post party

So that was it. It was shitloads of fun.

2007-03-08T09:13:00.000-08:00

Ok, this photo was edited. TO MAKE ME LOOK THINNER!

And let me assure you that this is the first ever picture that i edited for the said purpose which would hurt me so much to repeat, even in writing. No wonder people commented on me losing weight. That was two months ago and eventhough i am not even close to my dream weight of 49, it's a start and i ain't stopping.

My mission for last month was to bust my ass off for the exams which i did, and i repeat, i feel so stupid for screwing up my Marketing paper. And for the next two months, i have another mission to be a 52 at least, by the time school starts. And dun mess with Zulaikha and her missions. Man! It's so easy to say it and repeat it in my head. I considered working out tonight but my feet hurts dancing all night in heels yesterday during one of the best clubbing experience I had in a very long time. Update: Hani and Bib tasted alchohol for the first time yesterday and Hani got tipsy, to say the very least. I can still her whiny, intoxicated voice asking me,'But don't you wanna have fuuuuunnn?' while i was dragging her down to 7 eleven, once again, to dilute the alchohol, i presume,just rushing in her system with some Evian. Photos will be up soon.

But, i digress, if my feet doesn't hurt as much tomorrow morning, it will be gym for me and for many more days to come.

Have you ever clubbed with ur girlfriends and had a blast and then settled down with the one you love and cuddle in to sleep with a smile? I have, and I don't ever want this to change. I never want us to change. I apologize for ever wanting to let this go, my dear, it would be a truly horrible mistake.

Other than me feeling all pudgy, I feel blessed and contented.

2007-03-05T21:31:00.000-08:00

I got my brother trying to get me another boring job at a call centre. And he is saying that there is training on Thursday. I hope it is on Friday though since tomorrow I will be pulling an all nighter with me favourite girls in the world.

Eventhough it is too late, we'll be celebrating Rohani's birthday. So it will be shisha in the evening and The Cannery at night, maybe we'll even club-hop.

A checklist on what I wanna do soon.

*Touch up on my rebond and dye it a very deep red/brown.
*Thread
*lose 8 kg
*Shop (must wait for my pay)
*new makeup -clinique eyeshadow and mascara, cream blusher from Bodyshop, Revlon liploss in Raisin Glaze, tinted moisturizer with SPF.

That's it. The only splurge i would like to own right now if we are talking about electronics is a digicam but that can wait, of course.

Oh well, off to the gym now. And meeting Fiz for a bit. SO, i'll see you soon.

2007-03-04T08:05:00.000-08:00

Friday was supposedly the day for me and Regan to clean up his house after his mum's absence from home for 2 whole weeks to go to Kerala to visit their relatives. I wasn't really feeling all that well because I decided to make full use of my bed and the lack of activities to do and sleep in for more than 12 hours. I ended up having a splitting headache and feeling more lethargic than i ever was when i was studying late nights. After reaching his house, we realised that Clyde, his brother had already taken the initiative to clean up (God Bless Him!) so we made full use of the night and went out for a quiet night in town with Rajesh and Alex. As usual, we ended up at Kbox with alchohol and nicotine. It was ok but i wasn't really into it because i had to rush back home at 3 am. I HATE RUSHING! Everybody who knows me knows that.

On Sat, I made my way to Regan's place once again to spend more time with him. His mum was already home with goodies and souvenirs from India. And i got a saree and accessories!*grins. My first saree! hahaha. Anyway... me and Regan went to his football mate's chalet and spent the night there.

We had a major fight but i don't wanna go into details. All i'll say is that, I cannot stand disrespect. No matter who he/she is and who is he/she disrespectful to.Also, If i dun do it to you, i won't stand you disrespecting me. Sometimes, i don't understand just what it is that makes me so soft whenever i am with him, like I feel that compromising is okay as long as I am back in his arms. But then, i realise that you have to be who you are. He is who he is and I am who I am. People meet at different stages in their lives and you choose who is it you want to be with. Though, i disagree with some people on this but at the end of the day, it is you who you should first take care of. And if we just cannot talk, i don't see the point because truly, it is quality, not quantity that matters to me. Which was why I felt very touched when he called back when i know that under normal circumstances, he would never do that. For once, I saw him really use his heart and there is no way I would ignore that. For once,I felt that he finally realised that it is ok to compromise and not be so firm on your stand. For someone to learn and live, nobody should hold their stand too firm to the ground because then, what you hear is what you want to hear and how you twist it to be a yes or no. Does it coincide or not with what you think? It's called selective distortion. I believe you should always give the allowance for different perspectives, different styles of how people deal with things. But that's me, you know.

I knew you loved me a long time ago but that's not why i wanted to hear it because i can see it when I am with you. I wanted to make you realise that it's ok when it's with me. I wanted you to feel safe with me. And now i know, you do.

And i love you too, so much so that it's starting to hurt. Sometimes, it really doesn't make sense to me how sometimes everything and everyone else cease to matter when I am with you. I don't know whether the advices from people around me which are falling in my deaf ears, are valid or not. Maybe i would regret not listening to them one day but at this point of time, i don't give a half fuck. These are the same words i said when i was just beginning to be with you and i still feel it, you still amaze me. Just don't treat me like a stranger ever again. Honesty is key.

I cannot wait to meet you again, baby.

2007-03-01T11:21:00.000-08:00

EVERYONE SIIIIIING!!!!

(to the tune of It's A Small World)

It's the end of the exam after all
It's the end of the exam after all
And it's partying all night long
Partying all night lonnnng...

Wait, u did not really sing it, did you? Because it doesn't go. Wait, what do i know about singing?

GONE!

No more finishing the 3-in-1 coffee that does not help. No more finishing the A4 paper used for printing and writing till my hands are numb. No more smoking to congratulate myself on one topic being covered completely. I must have done 12369086 chapters which means, i could have bought a condominium or something with the money blown on ciggs or i am going to die very soon of smoking. CHOI! No more inspecting the alarm clock for faults because i cannot wake up in the morning for lectures. No more killing myself to be the best anymore. Which reminded me, I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE I AM GETTING A D FOR MARKETING INSTEAD OF AN A JUST BECAUSE I DID NOT READ INSTRUCTIONS AND DID NOT DO SECTION C! *phew. BAH! No more staying at home to study. WOOTS!

NO MORE!!!

(ok fine, i am not left handed, i was just acting. hehe. i look like shit. It was at 4am ok!)

Anyway..... Macroecons was ok today. Who cares now, right?

After the paper, i was too shagged to meet Regan at HarbourFront and go home with him. We do that because long bus/train rides together is quite fun. heh. But i was a walking zombie due to not getting enough sleep the night before cramming for Macroecons. So after a satisfying meal of Prawn Noodles at 888, i went back at his place and slept right after watching Fashion House at Starworld. MAN, i LOOVE that show. Michelle is gorgeous. Gloria's fat. Luke's cute. And I think Bo Derek's a brilliant actress. She looks so good at her age. No way can i look like that at the rate i smoke and the way i replace water for green tea and coffee. I am sooo hooked on it! Since we are on the topic of shows on Starworld, I wanna watch Heroes LARRR. How come i always miss it? Now that it is the holidays, the chances of me catching it is even slimmer. BAH!

Well, whatever. It's 3.40am now and i am as sleepy as hell.

ENJOY PEEPS!!

Stay tuned for my ramblings and what's going on for my holidays. I am soo happy, i can scream but let's not. Cheers!

2007-02-27T10:21:00.000-08:00

.I heart you.

2007-02-26T09:27:00.000-08:00

What a day.

Today was Marketing paper and I was so confident to get that A that i spent nights studying with the help of yucky Gold Roast 3-in-1 coffee. So there i was, practically skipping to school excited about the paper. I swear anyone could see the smile of smugness on my face.

The happy part of the morning was when I had Milo cereal for breakfast which is a surefire way to get me all happy and revved up for the day. Upon reaching the examination hall, i scanned through the notes that i painstakingly put all my effort in and went in. I stepped out of the examination room half an hour earlier than the rest of the class, feeling satisfied. So imagine my feeling when i realised from Joanne that there was a whole Section C to the paper that i did not know existed!

SO STOOPID!! I could have easily answered those questions! Complacency and carelessness never felt as painful as this before. After much calculation, i think i got a D. If lucky a C. And even if i scored an A for my next two papers, my GPA would most likely not differ from last semester. I FELT LIKE CRYING. All that effort gone to waste due to my carelessness. I tried appealing to take the paper again but in vain. I know it sounds stupid but i was desperate. Eddie, my PEM looked sad that he could not help me. But what's done is done. I took a whole of 3 hours of silence to realise what the consequences for my stupidity were and i felt such a deep regret. It hurt so bad and what hurts the most was the fact that it is only put away into my archives of stupid accidents and a lesson learnt.

BAH!!!! But i'll just keep smiling and put in my all for the next papers.

2007-02-24T05:39:00.000-08:00

Sorry peeps. Exam's on! So....

Seeeeee yaaaa

2007-02-15T09:20:00.000-08:00

Found these on my archives:

Your color is red, the color of racy sportscars, blushing cheeks, and luscious roses. Red symbolizes passion, romance, and love. So, since you're ruled by red, you probably trust your feelings more than your brain and tend to act spontaneously. If you see something you want, you go for it without thinking twice — impulsive is your middle name. You don't wait around for people to make decisions, either; you dive right in. Quite the romantic, you pay close attention to your emotions. In fact, if your heart isn't in what you're doing, you won't be satisfied. Of course, even when you do pour all your energy into the projects you tackle, your impetuous nature means your passions can shift as frequently as the wind. That's why some reds have trouble with commitment. Our advice? Next time you're feeling fickle, think before you act, if possible. You might be surprised at the results. Overall, though, it's great to be red. No one lives life more completely than you do.

hmmmm...

And this!

'If i love somebody, they dun need to love me back cause love is selfless and never spiteful"

I made sense but i am not going to talk more about this. Imma light a ciggie and go to sleep now.

2007-02-15T08:44:00.000-08:00

Sorry peeps, no pictures just yet. NYS PISSED is pissing me off. Doesn't she know that if she is the camerawoman for the day, she must immediately proceed to upload the pictures or send it to me on MSN? So inconsiderate. FASTERR NYS!

Anyway, yesterday was Vday. Let me tell you how it went:

Awwwww....*blush

Actually, he was saying that he did not believe in celebrating Vdae. Ok, lemme get this straight, i am a sucker for these romantic acts, however big or small it could be. So, i was a little disappointed but honestly, as long as i was with him, i really did not mind.

So, after gym, i donned beachwear and headed off to Sentosa once again for the second time that week. Met my darling at Harbour Front and took the bus into Sentosa. I was complaining to him about how hungry I was, (trust me, i am not pleasant company when i am hungry) and at that moment, I did not mind munching contentedly on the beach, eating instant noodles. Heck, i did not mind eating anything anywhere. But he insisted on eating proper food. After walking for quite a while, we decided to check out Cafe Del Mar. My heart sank when the waitress said that there was no more tables left (read: fully reserved). We began walking a few steps away from the place when Regan turned and announced that he had a reserved table.

For a guy who had never celebrated Valentine's Day before, I would say it was a reaaallly pleasant suprise. It was beautiful, darling.

A 5 course meal with candles, they had to keep lighting and great view and fucking awesome company. I blushed after a very long time. Deeply. Ok, Regan ain't exactly one to go an extra mile to show because he believes that his feelings apparent enough. Same here but i repeat, i am a sucker. Thanks once again, baby!

I think we should celebrate Vday everyday. Whatdya think bb? I dun think guys would be too happy with my plan.

Oh well. *smiles. I like Vday.
And i like you, darling.
Gah, i am turning into a pile of useless mush just typing this.

2007-02-12T08:38:00.000-08:00

I feel lucky.

No matter where i go, no matter where i've been, no matter where i am heading to, i feel lucky that i have my girlfriends with me. I was looking through my diaries today. At first, i hesistated because my past affected me deeply as a person. Upon turning the cover to reveal the first page, my hesistation flew out of the window and i got sucked into a vortex, like a time machine transporting me back to my past.

I wanted to escape immediately but i could not help myself from reading on. So i did. Every single word and not once was there a time that i did not say that i missed the tots. Splattered all over the book, words like 'I wish Ayeesha was here...," " Bib and Hani wiped my tears when....", " Thank god for the tots...or else....". And i said to myself, I don't think many people would actually stick by me after all these times and I dun think i would have cared for anyone else like that either.

See, there is a difference between your boyfriends and your girlfriends. Just that day, me and a few of my schoolmates were talking about how girls are so irritating,blah blah blah. But it is inevitable, a guy, it could be a boyfriend or the husband, can never get why his partner is so dependent on her girlfriends. I don't think i quite get it either. At least i don't think I get why it is generally like that but specifically, for me, being with these girls takes me back to the time when we were innocent, when dancing in the rain could bring so much joy, when sneaking out of the house was so terrifyingly 'shiok'. And the best part is, no matter what words escape from my mouth about them, i know that i can never bring myself to not care about any of them.

And i still stand by this, nobody can manipulate the feelings I have for my girlfriends. There will come a time when you feel like the whole world's weight is on your shoulders and you just wanna break down and cry. I bet half of the females in this world would speed dial their girlfriends.

My point? I just want to express how thankful that i have one hell of an assortment of close girlfriends.

Cheers.

2007-02-11T22:54:00.000-08:00

I am going to seriously start losing weight now but before that, let's talk about my most recent binge @

at Shaws with my brother after making me wait for half an hour for him to overhaul his bike.

I swear i didn't want to.... until i took the first bite. Rawrrr...Orgasmic.

After having a hard time selecting what flavour we wanted, we agreed on Mudslide, Doube Fudge Brownie and Cookie Dough. Yummay!

So fun! They had Ben&Jerry's scented candles and lip blam sia. How cool is that? Your room can smell like ice cream!!

The final product:

I swear i did not touch much of it, because my brother was a vacuum cleaner.

Fi's on her way down to Yishun right now. I hope she won't scold me. Yesterday was damn fun!

Sentosa and Sheesha. Pics coming up.

2007-02-08T22:17:00.000-08:00

Today marks the end of school, my study break begins and the examinations will be in full force.
Just finished Internet Web module but what a way to end the module. Was supposed to burn the project in a Cd and the stupid bookshop had no CD-Roms available so me and Nat made our was in the blistering heat down to Ang Mo Kio. Went to Marketing when half of the class didn't, so blardie proud of myself and when i reached the computer lab, i found out that the project was in Nat's thumbdrive and she was not in school, she was in piano class in Woodlands. So i dragged myself down to Woodlands and back to Yio Chu Kang, chanting 'I must do this, I must do this' all the way back to school. It wasn't easy but i think i am sticking to my 'Give 100%' resolution.

Tomorrow, we are celebrating our beloved Bib's birthday @ Sentosa once again. So stay tuned for that. I am skipping the bikini for now, gaining too much weight. Bleagh. But here's some love for you Bib, Nys, Fi and mua.

More pics at Coffee Bean!

i'm freaky like that.

Speaking about love, let me practise what i preach and stop hoping for things, because when u expect, it just goes downhill. So, let me just appreciate what i have now which i think is the best thing in the world. So.. love is plain bullshit. And yes, i try to tell myself that everyday and it's working. Life is simple, why make it more complicated, right? Upon further thought over that question, i think that was what i was thinking before i met him and things went damn well. Why it means so much to me suprised even myself.

Oh well.

Apart from that, i also lost hope on people who just have no grip on themselves. Who just have no clue what they fucking want from anyone. So fuck, ok, pick urself back up. No one can help you now.

Just random ramblings once again.

But really, i am sorry for making it such a big deal, baby. Let me be the girl who u met, the same priciples i had, the same mentality that i had, the half-cynic that i was. Because i dun confuse myself tat way. Sometimes, u confuse me.

2007-02-05T07:20:00.000-08:00

Projects are fucking nonsense.

Still, all stress makes me sad.

After Me and Nat touched up on our speech, Regan came over to have lunch there(which i think he regretted, stupid chicken chop and steak).

I got to get my mind off school because i was beginning to look crazy. SO we went to Kallang Stadium to blow off steam.

I know Singapore already won the cup.

And Singapore vs Malaysia is soo old news.

But i was busy so....

I tell ya, watching Singapore's matches are way better than National Day. 'Majulah Singapura' was sung with so much pride, a tear escaped the corner my left eye. Ok, i am kidding. Since this is the last year we can see the Kallang Stadium standing,

This post is mostly me and Regan since i did not want to disturb the rest with my incessant picture taking so i only disturbed Regan. So, this is very much all the same pics over and over again.

We feel you LIONS!! We gonna bring u down, Malaysians. I still love Burger Ramly and Cheap Malboros ya'alls, so it's a like-hate relationship.

I can be quite irritating. I know. After this, Regan got irritated and he could not scold me in front of people so he used physical violence.

He then threatened to break off with me. I said ok. LOL. Kidding. He likes me too much.

See, i make him happy.

2007-02-02T20:28:00.000-08:00

Is safe or vulnerable better?

I have never taken what i have today for granted. Losing things tomorrow have somehow made me feel that the Guy in the Heavens likes to play that game with me. The game where he gives me something that stirs up some feelings in my insides. And then take it all away before i even give thanks to him. And it starts back to the point where i find myself at Palawan, though with friends who have been with me, thinking that i am all alone again. The kind of loneliness that hurts so much, i just got used to it. Home was a word i never got, Family a word i hated. Expectations, a word i shied away from. Friends, something i still held on with on a thin thread of hope.

Which is why i thought i had a smart strategy of Plan B. I had Plan B's for everything. I thought, if i lost my family (again), i would know what to do. I would know where to go. I planned what to feel. When my education bails out on me, i thought it was because that was all that i could do. I thought i could never achieve anything anyway, since all my effort would go down the drain when it's taken away from me. Even in relationships, i always had backup, just in case. Yes, i was a coward. I got used to being alone. I listened when i cry. I understood me when i feel entrapped. I got so in tune with myself, i thought there was no room for improvement. Though my plan of action was weighing me down by putting so much effort into my Plan B's, i never took advantage of what i have. I never saw the reason to since He would just pull the rug underneath me and laugh at me, just another dot in his army of toys. Eventhough this sounds ridiculous, it ensured me safety at all times. Nobody could take advantage of me. I was the one who breaks not the other breaking me. I thought i was better at the game, like the game of chess.

But He caught me with his new game. He gave me things i did not want to lose. I wanted to work hard for them, for them to stay. Even the word family dun make my neck hot from the blood rushing due to the anger anymore. In matters of the heart, now, i dun keep my defenses up, i can blush from it without thinking that he is going to spear me right there where it hurts when he sees he can. I plunge it whatever i have maximising its worth. I am right there with them. I am not to conquer or be conquered. Forever suddenly has a meaning i could relate to with the word itself, not just an overrated word in slow ballads. Love and affection does not make me shudder or run away. In fact, i find myself fighting its worth, trying to make people feel it. From the scrooge when it comes to feelings, i feel like Mr 'full of good stuff' Santa.

But now, i wonder, is it smart? Would i get hurt, big time? i see an evil smile creeping to His face. Have i been defeated or am i still in for The Big Blow?

I am still wondering, was it smart of me to be so sure while he just hides? Should i have hid? And i wonder, just when it is i lose all i have now. And i fear. Because i don't think I can handle it now.
I know i cannot handle it now.

2007-01-31T21:20:00.000-08:00

I cannot breathe properly. Head and eyes and throat hurts.
Projects piled up and ending soon.

I did badly for Internet Web and got to do remarkably well for the last project in order to PASS!

I screwed up speech. There goes my A.
Marketing's looking good. *fingers crossed.
Econs. I dun have high hopes for the project. Meanwhile, i am studying intensely for the final.
Statistics is good.
Accounting's excellent.

ermmm... i suddenly feel much better now that Friday's making an appearance. For the weekend, i am going to relax. And start next week. It's going to be hell again, just not as much as this week.

I can't wait for exams to be over.
Let's have a BBQ shall we?
I need a drink.

2007-01-25T00:39:00.000-08:00

Oh my gosh, somebody hit my head with a basball hat can?

My mind is wandering now which is bad because now is the time that all my attention should be on my projects.

Let me just list it down here because i feel so disorganised now and then i can get school out of my system for the two days holiday (if i am lucky, i think i should off my phone).

Macroeconomics:

ICA1: A
ICA2: Project (dateline: Next two weeks)
ICA3: Final Exam

Effective Comm:

ICA1: B+
ICA2: B+
ICA3: Next Monday

Marketing:

ICA1: B
ICA2: Next week Thursday
ICA3: Final exam

Internet Web:

ICA1: F
ICA2: OIRS (marks pending)
ICA3: Frontpage (Next next week thursday)

Statistics:

ICA1: A
ICA2: F
ICA3: marks pending
Final Exam

Accounting:

ICA1: A
ICA2: A
ICA3: final examination

Right after all my projects end, i will have to start my engine to study for my examinations. And already, my social life's going down the drain, now, *sigh.

So my gym regime has started, Monday saw me running for 40 mins at speed 7.6, and god knows what nonsense things I made my body do, was just testing out the machines there and you know what that meant? I ended up making my muscles all sore which means not going to the gym the next day. Serves me right for having a fast start after slacking off for 1 month. Bah.

Thursday and Friday are school-free, so i can rest. Or so i thought. Was thinking of meeting the girls tomorrow but my mum's asking me to come help out at the shop. If things go well, i might get paid. Oh well. I am still going school to prepare for ICA3 Effective Comm. I know, *cue yawns. But well, that's what happening right now in my life and i am allowed to say what i want to say, no?

So sayonara peeps.

2007-01-24T01:25:00.000-08:00

Friday started off with school being a bitch making my craving for beer uncontrollable.

So, i met Regan and Rajesh and we scooted off to Cuppage to find a pub Regan was raving about. Apparently, the place was the same but kinda boring and the beer was quite ex so we just sat down at some random place where i finally got a sip of 'honey from the gods' quoted by Regan about beer.

We only had one jug of beer because we were talking about how much all of us used to love books when we were young. K, not so much Regan, he was bored. I was reminded of Enid Blyton, gnomes, pixies, the world of make-believe, The Famous Five, The Secret Seven, What Katy did, 2000 leagues under the sea. I read the original Gulliver's Travel when i was K2, can you believe it? No wonder i am wearing specs. I remember going everywhere with a book, if not an Archie Comic book. I think Raj is gay. Lol.

Saturday was spent finding another pub that closed down. Bah. *glares at Regan. In an attempt to find somewhere to watch the Liverpool-Arsenal match, we headed to Holland V (my first time going there, can u believe it?) and sat down @ Breko cafe with Melvin and Poh King(i dunnoe how to spell la). All Chinese should have Christian names or short forms for their name.

Bb!

Everyday, i thank god, i met someone who likes beer as much as me.

Poh King

Melvin

Can u see him trying to run away?

Ok, this is a bad picture. Just imagine him with his eyes open.

OMG, i ate so much. The burger was huge!

Ok, i am bad at taking food shots. It is huge!

Regan's King Kong Burger

I had meatball pizza and this yummy sinful dessert of kitkats, coco crunch, chocolate ice cream, caramel, coffee syrup and banana all piled lazily of one another. OMG! I got a total sugar high. After the match ended with Liverpool winning, (yay?) we went back home.

I thought that i would stay in on Sunday and do my school stuff but noooo... my sis asked me along to Marina South for BBQ Steamboat and to watch her husband, Regan and my bro play soccer. Me? I was flying the kite. Stupid apek go and cut my kite because i was trespassing into his space. In the sky, got such thing meh?

Can u see it??? It was damn tough getting it there larr.

My niece and Marlini

He took it from there and got it stuck in a tree. Bah.

Oh, they lost. 6-0. Sigh. They just wouldn't listen. Oh well, i was just hungry. I got so stuffed! This whole weekend was about eating!

They kept laughing at me because i have never done this before and was pretty much clueless.

But, i thought Steamboat was supposed to be FUN?

PEOPLE? would it kill to smile?

Yep sis, we went through a lot.

Oh well, tat's it.

Good news! My teacher was saying that i might not get debarred after all because my attendance wasn't low enough. And he say it like it is a bad thing! Thank god!

Ok, gotta scoot to go do research now.

See ya.

2007-01-23T00:53:00.000-08:00

I wrote this post yesterday but the stupid internet hanged so here i am typing it again, though seriously, i dun see the point of blogging anymore. Ala... one of those days.

So my life has been pretty much school and back for the weekdays so there's not really much to say except for the fact that I hate projects. But, i have been taking some pics though in an attempt to just see what is it a human being can do when confined in a school for so long.

So, skipping gym has made me feel like a blob of lard so i tried to salvage any measly crumbs of feminity by indulging in stupid female stuff, like artificial nails! I am a horrible nail biter so hoping for my nails to grow would be like waiting for apples to turn to oranges. One lesson learnt, i won't buy nails with the faux diamonds on it because Johnson's Baby Lotion, Pantene and lots of water would just ruin it. The good part though, i am definitely buying it again. Though mine lasted two days due to my itchy fingers, I am going to buy these cute brown ones that i saw and then maybe the other one...*wanders off.

NICE RIGHT? Kinda blur lah.. but it is damn nice can?

$9.90 for 20 nails.

Pardon my short and stubby fingers. What to do?

Joanne has the same nails. We were both standing at the receptions of IBR room and the receptionist looked at my nail(never happen before,ok) and then looked at hers. So... if you do not want people to know it is fake, dun stand together with the same pose,ok?

Sitting beside these two that day was hell. Gerald could not stop talking. He is like always excited, like he wins lottery everyday. I wonder what is his secret to happiness? And Joanne kept asking me to go and smoke. No wonder, i am always broke. Thank god, ciggs come in 20 sticks per pack only.

This girl just turned eighteen in December but her gift from CJ, Josephine and Jolie was original, comfy and practical. Wanna clue?

Ohh.. colourful too.

Bwuahahahaha.

Ok, the story is this, Joanne is renting Jolie's mum house so she always complain that the mattress there gives her backaches so they bought for her this to school! Which was so unnecessary because they lived in the same area. Bastard sia...

So, there Joanne was, getting laughed at and leaving the mattress in random classes till the teacher scolded his innocent students who had no clue which bangla it belonged to.Finally, the teacher confiscated it, thinking it was some prankster's idea of a joke, and there she waited for an hour to get it back because the teacher was in a meeting. It was fucking hillarious la, ok!

Besides school, i keep coming home because i was like so tired. Then i started taking pictures of my room and i thought, why not just post it here?

I wanna white bedsheet...

My wadrobe with not much clothes inside

The majority of my time getting ready takes place here. hehe.

Not much studying happens here

Ok, now that i have posted all the bo liao pictures just sitting their ass in Photobucket, (I am not sure why i uploaded them anyway), i can finally sleep.

2007-01-22T05:54:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not updating people, been super duper busy. Fucking stressed. Due to some econs teacher who thinks i am a juvenile delinquent or something. I might get debarred and i am still having my fingers crossed which so shouldn't be the case since they say, 'If you did nothing wrong, there's nothing to fear'. Wrong! Not when your fate lies in the hands of some teacher who just wouldn't listen.

Bah, whatever.

I'll start off by some pictures when me and the tots went out for a day on the town.

We were too busy window-shopping to be taking pictures. We, meaning Hani, Bib and Me. Nys was fighting with Mazly on the phone and looked super stressed. Just because she looks so good in her pics, i have decided to be an asshole and post a picture with frustrated Nys here.

Hehe

Me, Bib and Nys made our way around Far East where we headed to Taman Ros to eat as usual and just scout the place for clothes. It has been a while since i was in their company. So we cam-whored. I'll lay off the words now because this is way overdue so well let the pictures do the talking.

Ahhh... mars ball. What a genius creation. U bite into fried mars. Caramel..

We were pretending to be tourists in different countries but forgot all about our plan when we got down to having a hearty chat about guys and clothes. Hearty habis..

The two love of my life

Now i miss them. Tsk.

Just dolling up. Is there a diff with my face? I look weird here, somehow.

That's it. I can't believe we took so little pictures but i really loved every second of it. I wanna do it again!

Guys and girls are different. One is not more stupid than the other. So get over it, yaar.

2007-01-16T05:51:00.000-08:00

This week has been a fucking busy week, balls. And tomorrow's just Wednesday. Can you imagine that?

Just now, we had an accounting test which i think i did quite well. Blah Blah Blah. School stuff.
More school stuff. And more school stuff.

I need beer and hiphop beats.

2007-01-14T07:21:00.000-08:00

OMG, this is too scary.
Ok, if you must know, i am just back from helping my mum out at the shop and now I am at home and i can't stop thinking about school. And the caffeine that i took in at a very wrong time of the night is now pumping through my body, making me all geared up to do... well.. something. Anything. And i thought, why not? So, now imma hit the all the search engines on the net to find something for my project.. anything will do. Somebody, gimme a sleeping pill. Maybe i should find some real accounting records to study for accounting. *eyes widen in glee.

Man, this is the best time to run or dance or study or learn to cook. Or KNIT! *maniacal glint in my eye.

Gosh, somebody give me a sleeping pill.

2007-01-12T07:26:00.000-08:00

Sing with me!

Accounting: A (2 more tests, must keep it up)
Macroeconomics: A(Project+One more exam)
Effective: B+(One more speech)
Marketing: B(Project+One more exam)

Now say boooo:

Internet Web: F
It's alright. There's still two projects to pull me up.

Alhamdulillah. Marks i should have been getting all this while. I feel the competitiveness in me already. Engulf me. LOL.
I ain't bragging, k. It's nice seeing time and again that truly ,'You reap what u sow'. Though i can do better, i am satisfied that it is a major transaction from last sem.

So, parents getting a new shop in the east, so drop by. At Bedok. The details' not confirmed yet.
Tomorrow's the opening and they were asking me to come over but, imma meet Regan. I miss him too damn much. Just yesterday, i was reading all our past e-mails when he was 'wooing' me and i was 'wooing' him. And it dawned upon me that what i entered in the name of fun have now become something serious and still, so blardie much fun. Honestly, I trust my instinct and i don't mind ignoring the cynical people who say negative things about things that they themselves don't know shit about. So stuff that, ok?

So far, most of my days are spent worrying about school, my family and how fat i am. I miss sweating and forcing myself to push the limits, test my willpower and the satisfaction derived after accomplishing it. I miss that. FYI, I skipped gym the whole week. NOOOOOOOO...
Next week, promise. If not, u can whack me on the head with an umbrella. Since it is still bloody raining like mad. Can't wait for June. OMG, i'm turning 19 soon.

Alrighty, Night.

p.s: Why can't people talk proper English when it is truly necessary. In that sense, Regan's right. Our generation kinda suck.

p.p.s: I heard that one fella in TODAY said that poly is shit and JC's da bomb. At least, that's the main idea la. Oh pls, as if employers wanna know if u can memorise a book. Argue and say that JC students can learn life skills in UNI. HELLO?!? IF they can go to Uni. Till then, they are not employable. At least, not as much as diploma holders and WE can still go to Uni. Take that.
K, i am rambling. I got to get my sleep.

2007-01-11T23:30:00.000-08:00

Updates:

Saturday was spent all over town, ok, mostly Far East and Wisma with the tots. Pics will be up soon once Nys re-resized her pictures when stupid Photobucket resized it for her. Imma chande my photo host liao lah, liddat. Met Regan and his friends at Al-Ameen at Bukit Timah. Thought we were heading to busk to watch football but after a sudden suggestion to call it a day, Regan and I retired back to his place.

Sunday was home time when my brother came home from KL. Then, that idiot did not talk to me at all and instead headed for the phone to call Dell. Bleagh.

Monday marks the start of the week with deadlines and projects swimming its way in all of our worries. Also, this is the day, i would ensure that my absurd eating habits would be controlled and when i would stop eating on impulse. So, i kept it to a few meals a day. By lunch, i had a fierce craving for LAMB CHOP at 925. You guys wanna try fucking good lamb chop. Yishun blk 925 and S11 Ang Mo Kio has the greatest ones. Minus the restaurants lar.

Now i am hungry again. Bleagh.

Tuesday was spent in Tampines with the tots having heartfelt talks which reminded me on why i love them and how we will not take each other for granted again! Slacked @ Salihin where an old pakcik in baju kurong and SONGKOK ok! wanted to get to know her. Poor girl looked terrified. Slacked around some more to wait for my bro to arrive and we headed home on his bike that he got back. MOMOOOO. =))

Wednesday was spent with Regan. Gawd, how i missed him. Had a conversation about the dovey word again. Bitter-sweet, maybe? Whatever, i won''t be pushy, we got a lot of time, baby. ;)

Thursday, Joanne, Josephine, CJ, Shi Ting and Nat met to celebrate something. So, dun kpo,k?

Imagine using cardboards as a knife, plate and spoon!

Ok la.. no nid to imagine..She damn serious when eating cake man!

After effect, the cam whore in me started. Once u start, u can't stop!

Me and Nat

Me and Shi Ting

After a snoozy Marketing tutorial, Me and Nat wanted to head back home and met Dina at the interchange also on the way back home. I roped in another gym buddy! Me and Nat were talking about threading and she said she was interested so we decided, why not?

Pardon the double chin. Will get to it. =(

So be wary, you alls. You get too close and imma drag u to the gym and threading.

I think that's all for updates. As u can see, it is rather brief. I am kinda lazy now. And fat. Bleagh.

Night world!

.: Move, girl, move :.

2007-01-07T06:11:00.000-08:00

I am feeling moody, lazy and fat.

Upon waking up, the only productive i have done today is cleaning my house. And I have a number of things needing my attention right now. It doesn't help that my mum have been stuffing my face with food the whole day. I am afraid, i cannot skip gym this week lah liddat!

I dun have ciggarettes now too and i am too lazy to go under my block to buy a pack. I just cannot function now. Cannot!

I need to sleep. See ya.

.: Stupid girl :.

2007-01-05T09:12:00.000-08:00

I seriously do not know what to say.
Girls are ALLOWED to feel, no?
Then why do i feel like a weakling now?

It's not his fault. Sometimes, i just feel so lonely, it hurts.

I wish i had sleeping pills because this pit in my stomach is getting deeper and more painful and i just long for tomorrow.
I hated how today was. Things happened lar, right? I guess both were not really in control of ourselves.

I need to make space for people in my life. Because at this rate, i'll be a koala just clinging on to u.
I am sorry to expect things from you. Assuming u can read between my lines well. How i act when i crave ur attention, how i act when i am trying to tell u that u mean a lot to me, how i act when i really need somebody and i want that somebody to be u.

I guess this is when age comes in. I still need a listening ear sometimes. Believe it or not, i am not always at the top of my game and when i fall, i just hope you have enough patience to help me up, instead of leaving me alone to sort myself out.

The core of my unsettlement is perhaps due to the fact that i am afraid to care for somebody so much and not have anyone care that much for me. Which is stupid, i know.

Life is long, i need to chill.

.: Hollybedek :.

2007-01-04T06:28:00.000-08:00

So today's the second day of school and already everybody's going crazy. Call me mad but i really enjoy it. However, this week kinda sucks because my mind's set on starting my workout routine but I keep procrastinating it (Read: Lazy) and also, i feel kinda bad that i am also procrastinating the fact that i got to study and start my engine already. I guess after not working out for 2 weeks and just eating whatever i want, the first step to getting it back which would be to just go and not think so much, is scary. But i am afraid all the jiggly parts of my body are begging me to get my ass on the treadmill already.

Moving on... school started today with internet, no real lesson, really. Just researching due to our OIRS. Which leads me to the next resolution for the new year that i just thought of and that would be to put my 100% in everything i do, which means from studying to working out to digging my nose. During the lunch, there was a Giordano fashion show, to introduce the new Giordano outlet in the school. I dun know about u but i LOVE Giordano. U can always find me in their tops. Basic and simple. But since my new year resolution is to buy things i dun always buy, i got myself a top for an awesome price.

I know i am like being terribly jakun but this is the first time i am buying something like this, u know what i the catch? I dun really like it that much.

I suddenly thought of another resolution, Never go to bed with makeup. YES, something i am very guilty of and u know what's worse, i think it is fun to rub my eyeliner and mascara all over my eyes till it looks like i have dark circles galore and sleep. After watching this, i promise. I'll try my best.

Imma leave now and get back to u guys soon aite? Tomorrow's Friday and imma stay in and rent a movie to watch in his new flat screen TV. That is, if he can set it up. Though i nagged at him when he bought it, it's kinda cool. Okay, maybe a lil more than kinda, it's totally rad. So tomorrow u and I bought would be seeing his TV for the first time. No big deal but then again, u can always click the small x at the top right hand corner of ur screen.

Till then, imma head to bed and not wake up till Mrs BRIIIING! insists.

See ya.

.: 2007, balls .:

2007-01-03T19:07:00.000-08:00

So, ok, a Happy New Year to all of you. So...2007, huh?

2006 has been by far one of the most unexpected year of all.Looking at Fi's and Sha's new year's posts have sparked a curiosity on what i wrote at the start of 2005. So this was what i wrote.

'2005...where do i start?

The breakup with me and Rajiv.
The tots utopia days.
Me and Sha clubbing moments.
JC life.
Met beautiful people like Syarifah, Zira, Ee chin, ila,etc.
Withdrew Jc.
Worked in club ola.
Got into deep shit with people.
Found myself.(literally)
Fought with Sha
Tots split up.
Met Narin.
Left Narin.
Got back with Sha.
Shifted to Yishun.
Got fucking close to my family.
Became more responsible.

2005 was like opposties sides of extremes. Either very good or very bad. Whatever it is i regret to see it go but let's welcome 2006 with new resolutions and new smiles.

Get a grip on myself.
Dun leave myself too vulnerable to anybody.
Lose weight.
Keep my priorities straight.
Financially stable.
Get a new job.
Be happy.

Honestly, this year, i have made a lot of friends and lots of enemies. I feel an obligation to say this, i dun get angry for so l0ng so, you knoe, chill. I think the most major thing that happened this year was i was finally able to overcome my worst fear. I was able to look solitude in the eye and remain fine in it. Finally, i felt contented submerged in it. I've been misunderstood and i did my part at misunderstandings too. But there was just not adequate information to suffice so my assumptions was justified, i think. well, whatever happened had happened. '

Oh well, funny how life changes now, right? For one, I thank God that i bumped into a great guy who i can finally say, act and talk the way i want to and still find myself in his embrace. The choice i made to relax and release whatever hatred and cynical thoughts in my mind and heart about relationships and honesty. I dun know what good deed i have done but i am glad that i met Regan in one of the intersections of my life where the moulding of my being starts and ends. I am glad he is able to witness all these because i, for one, think that as u grow older, you mellow and i look forward to mellowing with him.

Though i admit that me and the tots are not as close as we used to be, the incidences where we still break down and laugh our heads off with one another despite the time apart ensures that whatever we went through together are still held strongly and can never be forgotten. Though apart, I will always be there for u. Sha-tot, Fi-tot, Ro-tot, Bi-tot, Ny-tot and for name sake, Li-tot.

I am happy now, albeit setbacks here and there. This is where i would much rather dig out whatever patience i have now because this is not a time to just think of myself.

My resolutions for this year would be to:

Never underestimate my own worth and strengths
Save up & Lose weight (clinched but true)
Keep my emotions in check and not think that it is the end of the world when change rears it ugly(?) head.
Open my mind and take the phrase,'The world is your oyster' seriously
Don't give up
Broaden my fashion choices

Class just ended. I got to go.

2006-12-28T07:24:00.000-08:00

A night in the Museum was funny and all but i think if u want to watch a movie worth paying for, wait for Video EZ to release this movie and opt for another one more worth it.

"Quiet! My dumbdumb wants to speak"

Today was a doubledate with my bro, Dell, Regan and me @ Bugis. Since i am working at my mum's shop tomorrow morning at bloody 4am, we needed to rush back home. It is less torturing for me since i am working my last day tomorrow at Kaki Bukit where my dad will allow me to sleep in a lot later than my brother. Before going home, Regan and I browsed through the shops in Bugis, searching for a pair of jeans for mua. I just realised that the reason for my almost barren wadrobe is that i only window shop. Once i have money in my hands, shopping is not the first thing in my mind. Oh well.

I just checked my outstanding balance for my bill today. Guess i have to clear up 80 bucks now. Well, before i get any stupid letter and the amount snowballs which means dejavu.
Oh well, just a short post before i head for the sack.
See ya.

.: IOU :.

2006-12-27T06:05:00.000-08:00

And as usual, my pictures are always later than the posts.

So here goes,

Christmas

I've never seen anything special about Christmas.It was only another excuse for me to hit the clubs and live it up but this was the first christmas i had spent with someone who actually celebrates it. And thus, i have decided to celebrate Christmas for the rest of my life. There is something about it which makes it so full of... happiness. Maybe it is because everything's on sale. Nah, just kidding. I have decided to buy a BIG Christmas tree should I own my own house, with presents and everything.

So, we spent Christmas, or rather, Christmas Eve together for the first time.

The weekend started off with me rushing back from his place the previous night, thinking that my brother was at home all ready to go to my sister's bbq which she occasionally organize at her corridor. A get together, kind of. This occasion was my darling nephew's birthday. I did not get a snapshot of him as he was running all over the place with his blue power ranger costume someone bought him. There was a crappy magic show and all, the works. After which he left for Penang and the adult drinking and gambling session took place. We Indians drink and gamble. bwuahahaha.

The host

CT and hubby

Can u see the 1/4 of the beer cans on the table?

Regan came by with the rest of the guys after a game, where they won 2-1. Go COCHISE! (??)

And we stayed there for a bit till I got bored of seeing them gamble. Wanted to watch a movie but decided to go home to continue the third and final episode of Lord Of The Rings, The Return of The Kings. But we fell asleep even before inserting the DVD in.

Woke up the next morning on the Christmas Eve to help cook the feast. I helped cut the veggies la... Oh well.

U trust this chef?

(Look what he puts in our food!!)

Ingredients for pasta and Garlic bread.

I cut the bread!

Went to buy more stuff, and Regan did his last minute Christmas shopping. BLARDIE LAST MINUTE TO THE MAX! Met Thipa and her sis, Kav. By the time we reached home, dinner was served.

The poor turkey no one could finish.

Clyde, Regan's Bro and Thipa, his gf.

Kav and her bf, Harry( I think that's how it is spelled)

Retarded Santa and Bf...err..nvm.

His mum, ze real chef.

After wine.

Yummyliciouss garlic bread.

We had so much food and was so stuffed that we went on to unwrap presents before continuing to eat again. Pity, i did not have pics of the unwrapping of presents. Unfortunately, lil' broke me had to apologize profusely for not bringing any. Oops.

After dinner, i went home and slept with a big ass smile on my face.

Here's to many more Christmas to come baby, and a whole new year.

Like u.

.: black & white :.

2006-12-25T05:16:00.000-08:00

I used to close my eyes so tight and wish everything away. Pushing away anything trying to penetrate into my thoughts; FEAR. Bad whiffs of dark clouds, my demons, i call them, provoking me.I refuse to open my eyes. I endured all the torment just so I could keeo myself in the safe state of mind. I dreamt of happy days, laughter, honesty, momentarily numbing myself of the outside world. It pains. It pained. Lonely little girl, screaming in the house. Uncertainties. Why-s? What if-s? They take the form of black butterflies and toxic bubbles. Life was full of butterflies and bubbles.

My fists clenched so tight,my nails dug deep into the flesh of my fist. It doesn't hurt. Beneath the tightly shut eyes, stars appeared on black velvet. Fireworks. It hurts. I spin, round and round and round. Bile starts running to my throat. It hurts.

Wind entered the room. Demons fled. Like white chiffon, it stroked my ebony hair. Like long pianist's fingers, it caresses the strands of my tresses. It whispered honey into my ears. It felt good. Like a devoted mother, it held both my hands in its. Healed, the wound where i bled. Unclenched my fist gently and it laid them on my lap. Like an artist, it erased the creases of my frowning forehead. It felt good. Beneath my eyes, colours over black velvet. Laughter, love, no pain, just virginal happiness. At its simplest. A smile crept on my face. Bubbles of mirth escaped my lips. I laughed and i laughed some more.

A voice," Have hope, my love,". Serene. Dark cloaks were lifted. It left through the window. I tried running after it. It's gone.

I feel good.

It was Hope.

.: MERRY CHRISTMAS YA'ALLS :.

2006-12-24T09:48:00.000-08:00

After loads of pasta, soup, turkey and stuff, i came home while mentally preparing myself for work the next morning when i found out that my mum's taking off tomorrow. Stupid!

If not, we could have gone St James. But oh well, I think i am falling ill soon. I got the lump in my throat which is so weird because i have not been smoking much also. You know, the kinda lump that starts before a fever. I think i need to rest.

Will tell u more about christmas soon. See ya!

2006-12-21T04:49:00.000-08:00

I am VERYY late in posting this. But this is the Sentosa trip i was talking about. Enjoy.

Just getting started.

Aww.. Dang! I missed them so much! THE TOTS!

SO this is what we win when we play stupid 'hak' games. After a while, Regan won three and we got bored.

When tots are in Sentosa, what are they known to do? What else? Truth or DARE!

Suker FIIIII

This dare was stupid, it was to dare these two lovebirds to make out. I think they just wanted a show. I have perverted friends.

I wasn't there! hmph!

Nys and her two birthday gifts.

My fav girls in the whole world, plus sha!

I am too lazy to blog so... will see ya next time.

.: Techniefreakie :.

2006-12-20T05:32:00.000-08:00

Ignore my previous post, it was one of those days where i just did not want to go to bed with frown lines on my face so i ranted here.

Ok, so here goes. He said sorry for over-reacting and that he is a kental and that's why i like him. Ok baby? =)

So i am currently working with my mum and dad at the shop. They have two shops, food stalls selling Indian food. I am working at Kaki Bukit for now. The work there is currently relaxed compared to the Potong Pasir shop. I get to sleep in the car till 9 compared to my brother who has to START at 5.30am. *sniggers.

So today was okay, my parents have such rude comments. I go to the shop wearing veryyyy slack, u have no idea. My father asked me to wear something nicer because i look like a girl who they kidnapped from India and asked to work here for cheap labour. Firstly, there is no such thing as cheap in S'pore and secondly, wear so nice for waaat? I'll still smell like curry and vegetarian food at the end. Bah. Fine.

So today we went to have black pepper crab at S11. ;) Can anyone say yummy? I am so tired this week, been giving excuses to stop working out. Then my mum just had to say that i putting on weight, so off to the gym, i go. I am trying to go everyday now, considering the fact that Christmas' coming, and New Year's, and Hari Raya Haji and it's the holidays, and there's food all around me at work. I have decided not to eat at my parent's shop anymore. So much oil and curry. Come on, man, i think i would much rather use all that space for booze(Read: Fattening).

Met Regan yesterday and caught almost half of the next episode of Lord of The Rings. I need a marathon. He almost bought a flat screen TV and a camera for me yesterday. Ok, he wanted to pay for it first. A/c payable. My liability. But the promotion ended. Not for the TV, who cares about THAT?, the camera! So i have decided to check Courts for Christmas offers. Maybe Friday.

I wanted to blog about so many things but it is safe to say i have been working 12 hours already and i am sleepy, and tired.

I am such a gadget freak. I thought 3 Megapixels were impressive. Try Nokia N95, fucking 5 Mp! Or was it 8? Either way, holy cow!! Handphones are eliminating Mp3 and cameras, ya'alls! Creative, Nano, get ur coat. Make way for these buys! OH no.. i remember now, Samsung's the one with the 8 Mp cam. And it is not so much for buying but just to show what they are capable of. They are still thinking whether to release it in Singapore. Well, WE GET IT, SAMSUNG! U THA BOMB! Now, get them over here. *sigh, times like this, i wished i was working.
OOhh, and and.. Ipod are releasing their 8gb nanos now, at the price of the the current 4 gb nano! With extra features. IDIOTS! Now, then tell me, but only in black/grey.
Ok, u can wake up now, i don't know how many girls i bored now. With a fan base of like 2 million, what i say matters, ya' know. NOT.

Today, i was smiling like a goon. I must have done something right to have people who cares around me. That was totally off but whatever. I am going to Courts on Fri, i need a digicam!

I need my sleep. Nights!

.: ARGH :.

2006-12-18T07:34:00.000-08:00

It is one thing to care. It is another thing to care so much. Why not just play it cool like him?

Ah.. FUCK! i need to cry to sleep now. Goodnight.

Wonder why little things make him so bothered.

I need to take my own advice. I am too into him right now.

And i feel clingy.

I need to chill.

.: Let the weekend begin :.

2006-12-18T03:54:00.000-08:00

And so, right after bloody school on Friday where finally, i settled 'The case of my attendance', I went off to Tampines.

Firstly, to visit my god-mum and secondly, to get some reminiscent of how the good ol' times were. I forgot how noisy the house was. So, the problem that day was that Faris, the oldest one decided to shave a mowhawk on his head with the anarchy symbol on the sides. * oh, the naivety of the youth. * Which was stupid because the A looked like the Jewish symbol which infuriated his pious father to the bloody core. And he has to shave his hair bald. He looked hillarious. bwuahahaha.

Met Sha and Fi after that and headed off to Cocco Latte where Shyanne was. Mat Noor and Zafir went too. The place was empty, so we decided to entertain ourselves with shots, pics and just talks about 'gorillas'. So let the pictures do the talking.

There are lots of pics ok.

Just us girls. And like, 3/4 of my face.

I dun know how much of this I had. But i am sure Fi had a fair amount.

Shy loves ma boobies.

We were trying to do different poses for the camera but apparently, I just could not do the slut face which was so frustrating. I WANNA BE ABLE TO DO A SLUT FACE, OK?

This we had no problem. Funny face.
But i guess Fi's face is too scary.

This, ladies and gentleman, is the slut face i was talking about.
I look constipated.

I was trying to..err..err.. play dead.

Aww.. dejavu people?

The good ol' times.

We used to paint the town red.

Group photo and Sha's left eye. Sorry, sha.

So the night ended with Shy went off for supper and we headed home. Went over to Sha's place because she said she had 'ayam lemak cili padi' but i was disappointed. No more ayam. Oh well, went back and slept.

The next morning, i went over to Regan's place and spent some time with him. Damn, typing this is making me miss him more. ARGHH. Ok ok, so the initial plan was to meet at HarbourFront for Sentosa @ 2pm. But janji melayu, everyone reached late. Esp me and Fi. The pics for Sentosa are not with me yet but it is coming right up.

Was supposed to go to St James with Regan and his guys but his sharp eye spied from the bus that there was a major long line so we ditched it. We, at first decided to watch a movie but Rajesh wanted to pub so off to Paulaner's once again. And Kbox.

There was no way that we could fit 6 people into a car. So, u know the joke where, there's not enough space then the person goes, like, ' Shove him in the boot/ exhaust pipe/ etc'.

Chris actually took the joke seriously.

So there he stayed for ten minutes till we reached Kbox. It was so hillarious! The trunk was not closed so at times, i guessed the car behind us would have a glimpse of an eye looking at them. Like the couple who were making out. ;)

Ya la. wore the same thing. I brought only one clubbing top from Yishun.

I like this pic.

I dun know if he was high or he just wanted to sleep or he liked that face or he passed out because Regan farted.

Then why is Rajesh looking so guilty?

Intoxication.

Grrr.. i miss him more now.

I like u bb.=)

We only managed to get the pics in the car. Went to Kbox after that. They got a bottle of Chivas and the bill came up to 300! Holy cow. Talk about expensive talent. He sang 'The Most Beautiful girl in the World' for me but i was snoring on his chest. Sorry baby, sing for me again, k? Aww, fuck, i miss him again. We headed home and promptly fell into a deep slumber.

I miss him. Sorry people, just edure.

That was my weekend for y'all.

.: Photos coming soon :.

2006-12-17T23:48:00.001-08:00

Stay tuned people. A fantabulous weekend with pics coming right up.

I miss my baby.
*sobs.

Sheesh

2006-12-14T19:33:00.000-08:00

I am stuck in school after forcing myself to get off my ass and finding out that the class is postponed to 3 instead of 10am. This means two things, 1) i could have slept much longer. 2) i am going to be home later than i thought. 3) i suck.

I need comfort food. Period sucks.
Hady Mirza's girlfriend is hawt!

OMG, this is so random. Imma get myself some MacDonald's now.
Bugger off.

2006-12-14T07:19:00.000-08:00

Microsoft Access sucked. Now, i gotta pull up my socks for the OIRS and Frontpage projects for the same module. Bleagh.

Skipped Marketing today. I left school with a heavy heart. My attendane for Macroecons was 75%! Which is totally impossible because i have been religiously attending it after seeing my attendance dropped. After a brief consultation with my tutor, i assume he is much too lazy to think about it. Well, can't blame him since that brief encounter happened at the chicken rice stall in Food Junction.
Well, Joanne's back!Phew. Would be a real pity if she were to withdraw.

Went over to Regan's place where i now have to admit that i am a Lord Of The Rings convert. I thought it would be something like Braveheart, ya know? Cool shit, i realised. Now, i cannot wait to see the next butt-numbing 4 hours of the second movie of the trilogy.

I so want to sleep now but the house is in a mess. I cannot take it! I am turning into such a neat freak, it's scary. The air-con's with the lavender fragrance filling up my room just makes me kick myself to stay awake.

Ahhh.. maybe i'll just do it tomorrow before i leave for school to finish my weekend in Tampines and out. Thank god for the holidays. Christmas brings promises of a feast and many good offers to shop. Plus, i helped Regan's mum decorate their mini christmas tree. Now, when's Hari Raya again?

I just have to say this. I am one lucky girl. See ya.

2006-12-13T03:42:00.000-08:00

Ok, i know they said that exercise is the fastest way to lose weight. I never knew how true it was. I lost 1 kg from last week.

Let's check now on what i have been doing. I have been on cardio all the way till my 4th week.

1st week: Mon: 25 mins treadmill
Speed:7.2

Tues: Dance 25 mins
100 jumping jacks
50 sit-ups

Wednesday: Treadmill 20 mins
Speed: 7.5

2nd week: Mon: 200 jumping jacks
14 storey staircase x2

Wed: Treadmill 40 mins
Speed: 7.5

3rd week(this week): So far: Wed: 40 mins treadmill. Speed: 8.0

Now, tell me, can u imagine ME huffing and puffing away? But it is not just for the look good factor, it makes me so much less sleepy and sluggish. Oh well, so far from week 2- week 3, i lost 1.3kg! Woots!
Now, if only i could get my hands off junkies, which are gettin increasingly tempting now, what with me having my period and all.

This isn't funny. 2 months of going without period just ain't funny. I think my body realised that so... today's D-day.

K, i don't know whether i should uprade my phone or just repair my digicam because i still think K800i's camera's autofocus is too limited. Bleagh.

Microsoft Access is plain killing me right now. I see words but i am afraid i just dun get it. The words seem to be swimming in front of me and i just.... cannot get it... Fuck! I am gonna try again. And again. And again.

Now, i gotta go. Ciao bella.

2006-12-11T22:54:00.000-08:00

My brother said,

' Living is all about learning, not copy and pasting. You and I both know who u are but that's not all u can be and u dun have to be everything. Just be you.'

Sometimes, i walk too fast and too forward, i forgot my past.I either forget lessons i learnt or typically,for me, simply discarding it after seeing the benefits of my efforts. I keep trying to remain logical. But i am afraid that is just not me. Though being logical brought many benefits to me, my feelings, gut instincts ensures that things i do not only qualify as sane but also brings lots of joy within me. Be it the forbidden few hours or months, i succumb. I do not want to feel as if having feelings without basis or reasons is a crime.

So here i am, again, out of a phase where hopelessness and inferiority reigned supreme in my life. I forgot, i truly forgot how much i enjoyed having the people i love...and like.....with me. People who knew me when i was truly nothing. Who stayed through thick and thin with me, who knows all my dark secrets and the ugly side of me, yet misses me. To you guys, you know who u are, i am sorry. I forgot.

I ain't as smart as i thought. It gets painful just wanting, stretching myself to please everyone but strive for the bare minimum for a ridiculous amount of relief which was supposed to be satisfaction. I complained about not being the perfect anything for anybody but now, i want to be the best for me. I am done with this defense mechanism in me just so nobody new gets close to me which meant obligations to me when it was not supposed to. I was giving myself too much credit just sitting around expecting people to keep wanting me. I want to stop being afraid to give because I can give so much. I got so much love, ok, care, (for people who gets rashes hearing the word love) to give but held back because i was scared of hurt. I held back with friends, family but not anymore.

For a while, i got coated with a thin layer of glass so that all my actions were subtle. Like someone once told me, break out from the bubble. The bubble where i go to stroke and lick past wounds. The bubble i keep going to, to warn myself to be careful of new ones. Now, i want to break that bubble and i am only going to care when the bubble burst and a new coat of layer will form, protecting me again. Till then, i am plunging head first into trust, something i have a very big problem with. Like an old arch enemy, it haunts me, reminding me of our enmity.

But i'll look trust in the face now.

2006-12-11T22:00:00.000-08:00

So, i think it is safe to assume that i won't go to Zoukout anymore. But well, at least i got to experience Zoukout as i WAS a Zoukout virgin.

So we arrived damn early, waiting for Jordon to pass us our FREE tickets while finishing a six pack of Heineken between me and Regan. We went in and I got kinda bored immediately. Me and him walked to check out the whole place and tried finding Melvin and frens but we gave up. We were hooked at the Mambo Jambo, i dun know if he was just there for me but when you hear MJ and Grease, u dun go nowhere else. I can't believe i slept! But it was under the stars so, yeah, bug off. Woke up to find Melvin and a couple of girls i ain't so fond of, well, u girls will understand if i told u but i am not about to. We left soon after and slept once we hit the bed.
All in all, Zoukout was..... Nothing great.

The few pictures we took.

Hold up. I swear this tall guy had a huge sumtin' sumtin' near his groin. I wonder what was the point? Who said tall or big guys had small thingamajigs?

We were just writing in the sand. Weird how a heart could cause hesistation.

Anyway, on a whole different note entirely, school is so fast this week. It is like a war map where everyday you cross off the battle conquered. I am so utterly disappointed with myself because of my speech. I froze the first time and begged for a second chance. Since when did Zulaikha ever froze when TALKING? Ask anyone. I guess informative speech with little information and zero practise just does not equate to good flow. Can somebody please say duh? So accounting's over. I dun get it. Dun they have computers for things like that? Tomorrow's Statistics, another topic that should be dumped as well because computers got that one covered as well. Which reminds me, what do humans do nowadays? Oh yeah, they reproduce or try to. Got that.

So i am sooo looking forward to this Sat. NYTOT's birthday people. Sentosa here we come. Zoukout can kiss my ass.

I found this in my comp so i thought, what the hell?

The family during clubbing.

Someone here was high. Clue: it was not me.

I have no thoughts i would like to publish right now for fear of thinking too much.

2006-12-08T05:35:00.000-08:00

Every morning is a bloody cycle. Zulaikha drags her feet to the toilet to shower, get headache looking at the meagre amount of clothes in her wadrobe, gets changed, puts on contacts, does her eyeliner, grabs needed things for class, spritz on scent and gets headache just thinking about the distance from her house and the MRT station, locks the door and lights a cigarette with
'I'll make love to you' by BOYS 2 MEN and her day starts.

Everyday's a drag, until i make up my mind to stop thinking like that and just take everyday slowly. Tsk. I just wish i could have everything i know i can get right now. Bleagh, i am complaining about time which is like fighting the wind so i better just bloody hell get my act together.

Anyway, here are the just some pictures of my darling niece who doesn't like anybody except for her mum. But oh well, forgive the poor quality pics. This phone isn't as good as it seems.

Isn't that cute or isn't that cute?

Ok, ok, i have no life now. So i found a dog at my corridor and was shocked that they allowed this beautiful dog to be tied up while they are in the house. And mind you, this isn't the first time i've seen this dog.So i decided, enough is enough. I marched up right to the house and knocked angrily on the door. I was greeted with an amazingly gorgeous woman dressed in dark purple silk, flowing dark tresses with perfectly smoked, sleepy eyes.

"yes?" she drawled.

My knees buckled.'dog..dog...blablibloo' , i stuttered.

She banged the door at my face.

Ok, all that did not happen. But i took a picture though.

Anyway, here i am typing away when i am supposed to be doing my speech.

P.S: Zoukout's on again! Free tickets. Somebody up there wants me to go. I am sure about that.

Now, i just have to find a way to mask my stomach for one night. OSIM, iGallop, whatever lah.

It must be free and make my stomach look like Nicole Schwerzinger's for one night.God, Just one. I promise to continue going to the gym religiously.

I promise. Just one night. Oh.. can u add a teeny tiny navel piercing please?

K see ya.

2006-12-06T18:15:00.000-08:00

K, so much for Zoukout! The spirit's willing, everything was going well and then.. we realised we dun really have a confirmed clique that's going. Bleagh. SO we decided to ditch it. Oh, that and also because i am kind of broke. Which is not much of a suprise since i am always broke anyway. And it doesn't help that i have been spending and wanting to spend so much on things.

Went to Asoka with my family, including Dell on Saturday after my niece's 1st year birthday party. That was when my bloody foundation broke into a million pieces which means i have to buy another one. My whole makeup set is at the point of depletion.You know what i'm talking about when suddenly, ur blusher, eyeshadow, etc are all finishing at the same time.

But well, money comes, money goes. Everything will solve itself. I think my study schedules' not going well. And i am going to get my ass to finish my speech now.

Excuse: It's just so bloody tiring to type on a laptop. I would choose a PC over a laptop anytime. Just lay back and stare at the big monitor. After a while, it just gets tiring siah. Also because i dun have a study table(which is going to change this Sunday). Stop making excuses lah, right?
Help me please.
Topic for the speech: Is sex appeal effective in advertising?
If only this wasn't informative, if only it is like literature kinda thing. But no.... it's going to be informative. Bleagh.

I HAVE to stop thinking i am breeding! But it IS kinda of scary. I mean, i skipped a month ok! k, let's not get into that.

Gotta start paying attention to Tan Ban Seng now. See ya!

2006-12-05T21:04:00.000-08:00

OMG, i am like so kental la.

I was telling my friend the other day that i was going to Zoukout and was describing to her about what i was going to wear. Being the zoukout virgin, i didn't know that u should be wearing beach things, though on second thought, it is rather common sense, something i don't have much of. i guess. Now, i dun know what to wear again. Ah, fuck it. We'll see how it goes.

In the library now, minding my own business when this performance came on right in the middle of the library cafe. Will post it soon. I promise. Fucking hillarious. Imagine nerds dressed like shepherds dancing folk songs. bwuahahaha...

Just waiting for the briefing right now before i head to gym and meet Regan. I cannot wait.

P.s: He just found out that there is a Manchester United match against Machester City on Saturday so i presume we will have to find a bar to watch it first. I think imma head early to chill out there first.
Will post pics.

Is it just me or is blogging just redundant now?

2006-12-05T06:16:00.000-08:00

So Effective Communicative quiz just now was not at all informative, ok la, it was but i was never a fan of multiple choice. I dunno why i was so grouchy today. Oh yeah, Gerald just informed me today that there was an additional paper next week.

Stats, Effective Oral Communication, Microsoft Access and Accounting. Blardie fuck. So right now, time is a luxury that i just cannot throw away and i am determined not to let this get in the way of my working out routine.

And it is already Wednesday tomorrow.

I just want to put this down somewhere so my blog is the way to go.

Wednesday- research on my speech with Regan.
Statistics during break before consultation about specialization for next year.

Thursday- Finish up studying accounting and tutorials.
Take material to study for Microsoft Access.

Friday- Solely for Microsoft Access.

Saturday- Zoukout!!

Sunday- Visit to Ikea for decorations.

I just found out that i have to be covering for my brother when he leaves for KL for 4 days in my mother's shop. Which means, ka-ching. And being tired but as long as i dun slog around, it is fine.
Anyway, sorry for the lack of updates on my thought or whatever. I dun know why but i am shying away from people scrutinizing my thoughts. Like as if baring everything now hurts. I'll try breaking out from this asap. Till then, i better get my stuff ready for school tomorrow.

Gdnight!

2006-12-04T06:31:00.000-08:00

Being a girl

Somebody hand me a beauty product or something. See, i have never realised how unvain i am compared to other girls since i have always been surrounded by people who believes that being happy is just by simply, being happy. I snorted at girls who go around showing off their brand new shopping bags with smiles on their face. Till recently.

No, i am not saying i support giggly girls thinking that beauty, shopping and being hypocrital to their own friends just for fame and that i am jumping to the other side, if there are any.

I just realised the satisfaction of taking care of oneself. And their surroundings. I know i am a little late in feeling and aknowledging these facts but they say, better late than never right? Right. Now, why am i saying all this?

This week, i have been exercising without making excuses, making it a priority. Eventhough the obvious effects would show sooner or later, i sense the change in me from the inside. I feel more alive, corny, i know. But seriously. Also, the pleasures of shopping is just seeping in also. No wonder, girls get a natural drive from buying things. Retail therapy, they call it?

I dun think this applies to girls only. Guys too.

Contrary to popular belief, this is not superficial because making the effort to look good and feel good is not that easy. Making it part of your life is tougher. It ensures that you take care of urself emotionally too. So i succumb to this, wholeheartedly. Let's go.

2006-11-30T07:28:00.000-08:00

Marketing's done! Thank goodness, tomorrow's Economics and then comes another weekend.

Saturday's my niece's one year birthday bash at Khalsa Association.

Though i must admit, it is rather wasteful to hold such a big birthday bash just for a one year old kid who won't even remember shit and i guess won't have fun at all with all those auntie's playing pass-the-parcel with her while smelling her as if she's the latest perfume by Calvin Klein or something. A 1.5k birthday bash?!? Fucking hell, that could have gotten me a whole new wadrobe in Bangkok balls. I just don't understand them.

It gets pretty boring nowadays but one thing that have gotten better is that it is much easier for me to get up and on the treadmill nowadays. I just cannot take all the fat insinuations already.

Plus, what the hey, anything to make myself feel less of a couch potato anyway.

Somehow or rather i feel excitement, but i just cannot put my finger on why it is so. Well, just stay tuned to find out.

"Sincerity is still the best asset in a person"

2006-11-28T02:34:00.000-08:00

.Zulaikha's on hiatus.

2006-11-28T01:25:00.000-08:00

HOLY MUTHAFUCKING COW!

NYP has a Giordano!!!!

HAH!

2006-11-27T23:54:00.000-08:00

So the time has come where Zulaikha is once again in exam mode. Two ICAs this week. And three the week after next, thank you very much. Sigh.
But but BUT, term break after that! Fasterrr...

Ok ok, let me recap what has been going on. Rewind to Wednesday where i met up with Regan and had dinner at Pastamania and headed to his place for some cuddling.No, really...just cuddling.

_____________________________________________________________________

Over the Weekend

Friday was a double date with Melvin and another one of his chicks in town *yawns. Get a girlfriend already, well i guess for him, single's better. Which is almost accurate anyway. k, moving on....

Watched THE PICK OF DESTINY by Jack Black?!? Fucking ridiculous movie but somehow or rather, it gets him off anyway. Got me laughing though.
I dun understand how he finds Scary Movie lame and Tenacious D hillarious. I guess i never will. Was heading home when Melvin suggested going to PartyWorld. I honestly thought it would be filled with Apeks or something. But i guess it is nothing like that. I prefer KBox though.

After which i headed home which was good as well, because all the 'ching chong' sad chinese songs were getting to me, making me sad.

Saturday morning was spent just in his house slacking like lazy bums. We cooked, that ain't so lazy right. Ok ok, he cooked, i watched. It counts ok.

So the day went past fast, rented a DVD to watch and bummed around somemore. So, i tried pampering myself so that at least i am doing something for myself when not doing anything.

Even his mom's going like,'Where did he get this crazy girl?'

Well, no pain no gain, right?

Wanted to head down to Rouge that night or anywhere but i was rather broke so we opened a bottle of wine and some cheesecake and played scrabble. SCRABBLE'S BORING. Honestly, i was in the mood to club so Scrabble was a vast difference from what i was gearing up for. Thus, it was not suprising that i did not even remember falling asleep. Did not even finish my wine. But waking up the next morning in his arms was the best.

I need to shop. Badly. And club. Fucking badly. Sometimes,i miss clubbing like in the past but well, i guess the feeling's just not the same. Growing up? Bah. I think i just lost my kakis. Oh well, there's a place and time for eveything. Soon soon...

2006-11-23T07:23:00.000-08:00

Say it with me, it's Friday tomorrow!! Woohoo!!!

I just lost all zest for studying this week which does not mean tat i am not studying. ICA next week.

Screw that, i'll study for that, not to worry. But now, let the weekend engulf me. Drown me.

Stay tuned.

2006-11-19T06:12:00.000-08:00

I don't know why but suddenly, i have this addiction to saving money. I think it has something to do with me saving up to pay back Regan the cash i borrowed from him when i was hit with the realisation that if i were to save everyday and cut cost on wasted things, I would be in a much better financial shape. Not that i have no cash or anything but i really could do with extra cash, lots of it, actually.

And so, today marks the day i thought i was finally debt-free. When i decided to call Starhub to change my address and check my outstanding bill as well. It is so weird, how nobody even mentioned that the first month, you dun get the free 500 smses and instead of 100 free outstanding minutes, i got only 64 minutes for the first month. Also, every month you pay a subset of next month subscription. Which means if my monthly subscription is $25.50, then i pay $24 dollars for nex month as this month was paid by last month. Gettit? I dun think i quite get it that well either but hey, i get the gist of it. As a result of not knowing the knowledge of all this, my bill for this month is $57.60. Bleagh.
Considering how it was in the past, coming to $160 every month, i guess it's good but not enough. Now, i need to pay off this debt too, *sigh. Oh well.

Learning how to save and keep track of my cash is so difficult when u know the money is there but you can't use it. Stupid Starhub, never tell me.

2006-11-19T00:04:00.000-08:00

*melts.

To see you when I wake up

Is a gift I didn't think could be real

To know that you feel the same

As I do, is a three-fold eutopian dream

You do something to me

That I can't explain

So would I be out of line,

if I said I miss you.

I see your picture,

I smell your skin on

The empty pillow that is mine

You have only been gone three days

But already I am wasting away

I know I'll see you again

Whether far or soon

But I need you to know, that I care

And I miss you.

OH MY GOSH, i nearly flew.

I heart u, baby.

MUAX.

2006-11-18T23:29:00.000-08:00

And so, the long awaited pictures.

We started off with a match @ Paulaners. We, meaning, Regan, Rajesh, Alex and me.

hehe.

And so, i decided to resign myself to fate and cam-whored while he just continued staring at that darned TV. Guys!

The band came on in between of the match.

Okay, something hillarious happened here. See the girl in black? She has a kick ass rear and she was wearing a satin-y black pants which totally flattered her ass. SO... me and the guys were ogling at her ass but i realised i was more into it than any of them and just continued staring till i did not realise that her partner, this butch was looking straight at me with an amused face. When the lady in black was walking up the stairs, the butch pointed at her ass and made a thumbs up at me with a questioning face. I swear i blushed so deep, i just stopped talking for awhile and just took deep gulps of the wine while the guys just laughed at me. That's the last time i checked a girl out without looking out for any of her friends.

Oh well.

After which we went....

Err.. someone damn enthusiastic siaaa..

Come on people, feel the music in ur soul!

Single, ladies, any takers?

Feel the beat, Rajesh!

Not like that!!!

A lap dance, sir?

I take that as a yes.

It was four when we were practically kicked out of there but not before a 'She Bangs' at the end of that night. Nice night, all in all.

Ciao, peeps.

2006-11-18T07:24:00.000-08:00

i'll say it now. I am broke. Very much broke. I dun know whether a job is really necessary but i feel like i do not have enough cash to buy what i want. Then again, nothing is ever enough for any girl, right?

Pssst, a little bird told me that a christmas sale is going to start soon. Say it with me, girls,

!hallelujah!

Yesterday, i decided to check what is available now my new kitchen, the appliances, to be exact. I started to unwrap my sandwhich maker out of its box, like a child opening his present. And i made this:

So nice!! Oh my gosh, i am such a cavewoman, i know. I thought toasted bread was good but, oh my gosh, to put any filling you want in it and it taste so so yummy. Toast of the day was either sardines or tuna. *shrugs. Either one.

ooh! I also made apple juice with my juice maker. Whoever said a housewife is cheap? I'll make a bloody expensive housewife sia. Not tat i would want to. Unless I can be a tai-tai, who dun want?

Then i headed to school, the whole usual bicuos-bicuos.( a new word, a slang i might add, from this book i just finished reading. )Got bored during break so took some pictures but will only put up one because there is going to be a flood of my solo pics so... bear with it.

Ahh.. the book i mentioned earlier was such a disappointment.The climax of the story was so good, it almost had me crying when Max St Clair killed himself after giving up on life because of his parents, and when the first cousins, Kitty and Charlie (odd names for children in a prestigious family) decided to get married. When they found out the dark bitter secret of the family kept hidden for half a decade, and still deciding on what to make of it, then it ended. Just like that. I hate books like that! I mean it is okay if there is a sequel or something but there is none! KNN CBB.

Nevertheless, i loved the way the author looked at things at different angles and how they seemed to potray the bond of a family and make jokes only family won't mind. But the end is important, so do not go read it if u are looking for a happy ending or any ending, for that matter.

Title: Secret Relations. Author: It doesn't matter anymore. Hmph!

2006-11-16T06:14:00.000-08:00

Look closely, does the book really say, the art of pubic speaking?

They teach that? Freaking cool, now we can make our pubic area say things we can never say, oh, wait, people already do that. Dang! *snigger

2006-11-16T06:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the tots catching up. I can't believe we still have our mojo. We stayed at coffee bean till our ass became numb just chatting and laughing our heads off. I missed you guys, i really do. I'll never leave you guys ever again. EVER.

Just us girls

These two are the love of my life. Without them, there is no me.

I am not kidding

Erm..bib? Abeh cair?

I think i am starting to like caramel ice blended

I know, nys, i know.

I want a brownieeeee plsss?

Sorry ah Fi, tak sengaja per.

Lu mana punya?

No comment

Nak jumpa, nak jumpa lagik!! Meet up soon okiess??

2006-11-13T18:54:00.000-08:00

Sorrrrry for the lack of updates, people. Not having internet connection just bugs me and i don't think i am that keen to go to a library and blog.

It seems that my internet connection's working so expect more entries. Been very busy what with the moving and everything. So, yeah, back to normal mode.

Nothing new happening besides the fact that i have grown my nails long without biting them. *cue yawns. Yes, pretty much been sedated.

Me and Regan have hit the half a year mark which is so weird because i could have sworn, it was longer because i feel i have known him forever. U put two people who fit together, it eases into normal familiarity fast. And i like that.

School's been pretty fast. I still think that school has just started but it has been 5 WEEKS! 5!
I have just completed my Effective Oral Communication speech and i think i did pretty well. A topic which covered stereotyping against dancers, or rather, stereotyping per se.

Random topics:

*I am NOT happy with my purchase of the ultra-edition Samsund D900.
The camera's amazing BUT, a huge BUT, the flash sucks big time. It does not save sent messages by default. You cannot use your own message tone. After a while, the sliding is just not fun anymore. And i guess the reason i bought this stupid phone was because of the camera and it doesn't help that your boyfriend's phone's is so much better. Thinking of upgrading soon, won't be the first time i get broke because of gadgets. I guess being with a gadget freak does that to you. One word of advice: Looking for a good gamera phone? Get Sony Ericson K8ooi. Seriously,Sony Ericson flash is so much better that Samsung's lousy excuse for a flash.

One lesson learnt: Feature or form? I'll take feature from now on, i learnt my lesson.

Meeting the tots tomorrow. Whoever could come. Cannot wait!

Anyway, leaving to go my mum's shop now. Going to Salvation Army, dunnoe for what. Heard that it is a good place to find some really nice things. *fingers crossed.

p.s: My house is still having minor renovation touch ups so my whole house smells of thinner. I think imma pass out.

See ya.

2006-11-08T19:03:00.000-08:00

I have only one life. And I am a teenager. With parents like mine, you have to make sacrifices. But lately, these sacrifices are too much for me to take. They say, grow up, just think about them. But they are too wired up for me. For once, i would like to do something and not feel guilty. Can i keep this up till i get my diploma?

My silence and conforming is getting painful. In a world where emotions mean shit and replaced by logic and a place where dwelling and listening to urself is replaced by thoughts of how to survive and how to be looked up upon, is there any space for breaking out from this? Because there are more important things in life than money. Than status. Than being the best of the best.

We are worse than bloody animals.

I want to get away but they are getting old. Whoever came up with filial piety ought to be shot.
Or maybe i am trying too hard to please them and everybody else around me.

OR maybe, just maybe, i am PMS-ing again.

2006-11-08T18:51:00.000-08:00

TAG ME LARR, pantats.

Ermm.. on another note, will be back shortly.

2006-11-01T18:36:00.000-08:00

I don't feel like blogging right now. I don't feel like blogging later. I don't feel like blogging tomorrow.

So...

The morale of the story is,
I want to chill.

And, by next week, i will be back with a new blogskin, wittier posts and photos which have yet to be posted.

On another note, today is a very good day, i woke up without the wanting to sleep again. I look good, i did well for my quiz, at least more so on the first one. I had coffee and smoke. And Regan is getting off early from work. This is the longest i have been without meeting my kentalan. And i am as excited as hell.

Because these past days, i was reminded why i was attracted and now head over heels for him. And as more time pass, more problem arises, i love the way this relationship eases its way to my heart, however mushy that may sound. I like the way we could just slap ourselves after the anger subside and come clean with whatever we feel. I like this because it is so unpretentious.

And now, i like him for a whole different reason.

Anyways, gotta pay attention now.
Tan Ban Seng, (my computer teacher) is one hell of a sweetie pie.

2006-10-31T05:09:00.000-08:00

Rouge was cancelled on Halloween. Instead, we just decided to chill out. But unfortunately,
I had a fight with Regan and impulsively deleted all the pictures in my phone so i have to now wait for him to pass me the pictures for the night.

Meanwhile, the pictures that i managed to salvage are pictures in the morning where i accompanied my brother to the Job fair @ Suntec City. After which we walked a tiresome 1 hour to the esplanade, just up and down the many overpriced and yucky quality food places found there.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Amazingly, we still could camera whore but after a while, we decided it was just too painful and we could almost hear the gastric juices squirting in our poor stomach. After a 'nothing great' meal, we sat outside of Harry's to wait for Regan to arrive. We then proceeded for a game of billiards and pools in Selegie. I sucked. I sucked too bad. I think it is time to start practising.

My brother left shortly after to go to An's open house. And me and Regan battled with the thought of watching a movie. Almost got the opportunity to watch Ashton Kutcher in The Guardian when we ditched those plans to meet Rajesh and 'Ah Kai'. (I keep forgetting his name bt let's just put this as his Ah Beng name. But he is not lar. It's just his hair.) We went to Paulaner's to catch the Man U match. *sigh. Rajesh came up with the crazy thought of going Kbox. So we decided, what the heck?

p.s: I didn't know i could sound so good even with beer.hehe. tak tahu malu.

All in all, it was a fun night. Before the fight, that is. Something i do not wish to go into details about. But oh well. Maybe i will someday. Till then, see ya.

2006-10-31T05:03:00.000-08:00

Before i forget, a very late Slamat Hari Raya to all Muslims who have succeeded in fasting during Ramadhan. Who am i kidding, even those who haven't.

Eat your fill of Kuih Makmurs, Kueh Tarts and F&N Grape.

Enjoy.

2006-10-29T19:36:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i just wish i could pour out how i really feel about everything.

Sometimes i wish i did not care so much.Sometimes i wish that u didn't mean so much to me. But with everything that we went through for now, i feel more and more about you. This obstacle, this mistake caused so much pain and destruction that never again would any of us doubt or go through it again. It's just too much. I wish we could rewind it to innocent and happy sleepovers and Ribena.
I dun know why i always feel more obligated to feel more for the other than myself. I think that is why they are so pissed with me. Maybe sometimes, yes, it causes people to step all over me but i can't be all high and mighty with you. Because you know me. And i know you. And i'm happy. But does it really matter? Because are they happy that i am happy? Or are they going to insist that i am going to be happier? And how do they know? I know they care. Everybody cares but advices are advices and if it not taken, it does not mean it is not appreciated. But then again, i am just a stupid little sister. What do i know?

2006-10-26T21:39:00.000-07:00

Happy Deeparaya!

I guess that is appropriate because i do celebrate both. Eventhough the meaning have differed since last year. It used to be about money, now it is about family, i guess. It doesn't help that Indian families think that i am of age to get married so they won't give me any cash. Bleagh.

Been incredibly busy now. And now i am truly broke because if you look closely at my wishlist, you would realise that the Samsung phone is already cancelled out and now, i am contented.

Tots, ask Bib or Nys or Hani for my new number, as my previous card is with Hani and all your numbers are there.

Ipod= check

Samsung D900= check

All the effort during the holidays paid off. Yeah!

The house have been modified a lil bit and i just need to wait for a week before i can actually shift and start shopping for home decorations.

First target: Pure white silk/satin/cotton bedsheets with comforters, complete with little unncessary pillows.

School have started which has me smiling a lot because schooling beats working anytime. And because i know i have been doing a good job by not procratinating and repeating last years' mistakes. My schooling hours are pretty short and i am thinking of getting a job in school which pays little but well, at least i have something to do, ya know? And it ends at 6 anyways. Still pondering.

Me and Regan? We went through a lil bit of a rough patch but all's going well. A little weird, a little hurt but oh well, nobody said it was going to be all rosy. Integrating two individuals means misunderstandings sometimes. I just hope we get strong enough so that we won't feel like letting go whenever anything tends to cock up because i believe that this thing we have is worth it.

Anyways, i dun know what i am feeling now, i am just doing stuff so that i won't have time to dwell on things and make me magnify these unnessary thoughts till it affects my smile. All thoughts and emotions are being penned down in the form of poetry which only me and me can read and feel. It helps, you know?

This weekend's blazing: Coco Latte Halloween Party

CJ Chalet

Rouge Halloween Party

Still dun know where to go now. I dun wanna go out for both days. Oh well, we'll see but rest assured, pictures will be posted up as soon as i shift and get my internet reconnected.

Till then, see ya.

2006-10-18T19:48:00.000-07:00

My room is empty. I am currently sleeping on the mattress with sparse furniture here and there just waiting to be shipped to the new house. I feel like i am living in a bangla worker's house. Apparently, we cannot move out quite yet because the previous owners left the house in a complete mess. They left a spoiled refrigerator in the kitchen which stinked up the whole kitchen. The air conditioner in my brother's room and the master bedroom are also spoiled. Plus, my parents decided to come up with unnecessary renovations like new cabinets, new flooring for the kitchen and new doors because my dad just insisted on getting doors which are round at the top which i find totally useless. All the necessary things like toilet renovations and air conditioning are already done. Which means we could actually move out but due to useless things, we can't move out yet.

Ok, in Tan Ban Seng class now doing Computer Applications. I volunteered to be the module rep just so i would be motivated to come to class on time. Strategies, strategies. So, i ditched my plan to sleep early yesterday and decided to go out.

Went to town with my brother. How long has it been siah since i went to town. Golly. Went there to shop for shoes but turned out, i bought a dress and a bag which i am regretting now. Oh well. After which we headed to play pool. Ditto for this. It has been a long time since i played pool especially with the tots! Time went pass quickly and before we knew it, we were joined by my baby. Went to eat @ Crazy Elephant. Note to myself: Always read the fine prints before getting pasta to ensure that it is either tomato based or carbonara based because olive oil sucked ass. Bleagh. Had a few beers which got me giggling and feeling all giddy with 'like'. After which we headed down to Home to support some band which is a friend of a friend. Sorry, did not quite like it. Too draggy when i was feeling happy. Also got into a heated discussion about cheating. And i refuse to budge. I still feel cheating is disrespectful and i would never do it because i know i would never forgive the other person should he cheat on me.And i dun like being not respected. Whatever lah. I am too lazy to get into details and start talking about it again. But cheating sucks.

Oh well. All i know is that, i find myself lucky that i found someone who agrees with me. I am up for open relationships as long as the other person makes it clear to me what type of relationship they want to try to achieve. And stick to it. That's it. And i like you, baby. That i know.

Bleagh. Just found out that my next class is cancelled. For a moment, i got pissed then i realised,'That's poly life for ya!' So off to home for me. Maybe i'll catch my parents in time to view how the renovations are going on. *fingers crossed.

I got to go. see ya.

2006-10-17T03:31:00.000-07:00

I think i need to have a say about this topic, stereotyping.

I am so sick and tired of people just lumping all the experiences they have with certain people and just simply come to a simple conclusion, 'They are all like that.' And i for one, just fucking refuse to fall under the same category. I refuse to think that all guys are after pussy and not at all about what's inside. Because that is not true. I know a lot of guys i have met who would much rather talk to girls rather than just head for a goal. Sure, if u give a fish a worm, they would gobble it up. So, dun potray urself as cheap and it's fine. My mum always tell me, 'It's not about what i wear, it's about how i wear it'. So it doesn't matter if u are all covered because if u talk cheap, u are. Personally, i like revealing tops. And even if guys look, not one have really dared to come up to me with a cheap pick up line. Because i dun act it. U wanna get in my pants? Fuck off. Then again, i would never tell myself to lose faith in guys just because of a few assholes like these. Then how the fuck am i ever gonna get a husband who i can trust? The cynic in me would sometimes rear its ugly head out but i refuse to conform to these people who just cannot trust their partner because they know that 'they are all like that'. Bullshit.

Because nice guys or girls might be mean to some people and bad girls or guys are nice to some people. Girls, who are viewed as party girls might be a domestic goddess to their spouse. Guys who are jerks to some girls might be stuttering lovesick bunnies to others. So when they say,
' All (insert word here) are (insert word here)'. I say, you met the whole world ah? To know all the people in the world? Even the word generally cannot be used in stereotyping because what if some nice unlucky person is categorised in the same group as the frowned upon? It's not bloody fair.

I have been stereotyped too many times that i have grown used to it and just wait for the ones who are worth it to step up.

'That girl, party animal sia, confirm can pakai,' then get pissed off because he didn't get to pop any. Standard.From 'Her face like want to kena slap sia, fucking irritating high-and-mighty-face' to,'Zuuul! when do u wanna catch up?'

I have felt how it felt so much that i do not want to think like that about other people. Maybe this is a mistake, i dun know, but i still have faith in people. Yes, i still have faith in 'happilly ever afters', 'good guy in disguise', 'good girl in disguise', honesty and trust.

Call me naive, call me young. I'd rather be that than jaded and old.

You know what's the most irritating part? People say it with so much confidence as if there would be no point to argue because they just refuse to believe tat people are not so bad. One good example, my brother confidently said,'All girls can be bought'. I am sure many can but not all. I am bloody sure of that. Eventhough i use this mantra whenever i am pissed off with guys, even 'All guys are jerks' is very unfair and not true. Though it feels so good to be saying it, i know it ain't exactly true. 'All pious people are extremists'. Nonsense. The best stereotyping is the lack of faith of love actually existing in couples. I am sure most are actually lacking the real meaning of love but how the hell are u so confident that these two actually dun love each other. And why must their love fit ur description of love?

I dun know. Just not a fan of confident, stereotyping people. And ranting about how the world just cannot be tailored to fit my ideal place to live where negativity are micro-sized compared to the positive energy. Ahh... the world would be my utopia.

2006-10-17T00:46:00.000-07:00

No, i am not busy, just very lazy.

So school's started. I can't wait for school to actually begin properly. Like classes and tutorials and stuff. So far, i had POA and Effective Oral Communication. I wanna start studying.

But i should really get my sleeping schedule sorted out. Because yesterday i slept at 12 and i woke up a zombie and late for class. By half an hour. For a person like me, i need a minimum of 9 hours sleep to ensure me bouncing with energy for the day.

Ok, i will share a secret with you guys. Every month, i would have this niggling feeling that i am pregnant. You know which part is the funniest? Even when i am not having sex.
Due to this, close friends have to bear with my paranoia every month. After a while, they malas want to layan me already.
So this month once again, i thought i was pregnant eventhough i was still not late yet keeping in mind that my period's irregular. And i thought that i would go and buy a pregnancy kit after school today when my period came during break. I have to stop thinking that i am pregnant.
Maybe part of me actually wants one. *sigh. But then again, i am 18! bleagh.

I'll just make do with my baby niece for now.

2006-10-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

Ipod nano---> check.

Next target, samsung D900. The one on the left.

3.0 mp camera.
Bluetooth connectivity
Flawless spring mechanism
Slimmest slide phone 12.9 mm

Fucking expensive too bleagh.

Close my eyes and buy. Jimmy Choos nothing. Samsung D900, here i come.

2006-10-12T07:23:00.000-07:00

I MISS MY TOTS!! Sat nak kuar? PLEASE??

k, k, here are photos from JB with my flat hair.

Firstly, a look at how bad my hair was.

Nyeahaha.

My brother never want to lose out. Duh!

WTF??!??

Whatever lah Khalid.

OI! Pain lah u stupid auntie!

After they waited for 5 hours, say awwww... we decided that we better feed our poor stomachs.

So off we go and find a place to eat...malaysia style!

Because Malaysia boleh, anything also can..

Allow me to digress but Malaysia's MacDonald's milkshake beats Singapore's hands down. It's so fucking yummy, i tell u. And so sweet, ants practically crawled in my mouth.

er..not really la..but u get the point.

I will never understand guys.

Oh well, no pain no gain.

Scrumptious looking huh?

It does not taste as good as it looks.

We had a competition on who could make the ugliest face. I vote for my baby. U?

After walking through City Square, sitting for 5 hours and eating and smoking like pigs, we went back home, shagged but thoroughly happy.

*sigh. Fucking tired. Baby, close ur mouth. Tee hee.

K, now, i am fucking tired so i am gonna go and sleep. It's not even 11 yet but oh well.

Wait, not before a pic of me.

See ya, bitches!

2006-10-11T21:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, i need to come up with a plan. I need to make sure that i can have enough time this week and enough money to sustain me for what i wanna buy.

So, i have decided to do all the thinking of what is supposed to be done, what i want to be done and what i really really need to be done and when. Also, i need to come up with a savings plan so that i can comfortably go out whenever i want and know that i can buy something if i really really want it and not just wait for the money to come by like a mirage. I have decided to save and i am not going to be guilty of it too. Whenever i go out, esp my brother, he makes it sound as though i'm scrooge. Not that i mind spending on him but sometimes, i really am saving up and more often than not, i feel guilty for not wanting to split with the money. I say, fuck that. It's my time, my money and my life.

Lately also, i have been pretty much depressed. About my weight. See, when someone's putting on weight, there are different ways of approaching different people, there are those who gets driven by criticsm, some by support, yadaa yadaa. See, these past two weeks, i have been getting so much criticsm about my fucking weight that i just stop being me. I start being insecure, i start thinking that i am not as fly as i think. But i also realise one thing, i tend to feel so 'heck care', i just start eating again, but discreetly, without anyone knowing and then i beat myself because of it. Even if it is just a slice of bread. Everyday i wake up, i think i am not worth it just because of my weight. Yes, i know, people just say it to motivate you, so that u dun stop till you reach the objective. I realise, it ain't working for me. So, i thought to myself, fuck it. And i started eating normal again. It has helped though that once you start eating healthier, your body do not take in rubbish as well as it did anymore. There's a limit where u know u just can't take it. Once i started to eat normal, i feel myself being much more energised (read: less lazy to work out), my dark circles became less obvious and i get an addictive drive to move, get moving. Dancing.
Ahhh.. the pleasures of dancing. And then i start to see a difference, a difference i wanted to see when i was dieting. Plus, support helps, if u want me to lose more weight, encourage me, dun bring me down. I am not like that. Even with my academics. Unless u wanna see me plummet into self-pity and curled up with a gigantic tub of Ben& Jerry's on my laps and chocolate stains on my lips, bawling my eyes out, please refrain from saying, 'Fucking fat sia u'. Even when u see an improvement. This is directed to people close to me. My family, you-know-who.

I say fuck it because i am gonna do this my way and all the fat insults can come kiss me on my bootylicious spanklicios,curvaceous ass. Because i am fucking sizzling and no one can argue with me otherwise unless u are like a Victoria's secret model or an Armani male model or something.
;-)

On another note, i need to catch my time too. Right now, there are many things i wanna do but i dun know when.
1) I totally need to pack up my stuff.
2)A day out like, real shopping with the girls.
3)Come up with an exercise time table, starting Monday.
4) Get ready my school stuff.

Easier typed than done.

Right now, i have vowed to myself not to waste money on cab anymore. And ciggarettes. *sigh. I think i wasted like almost 50 bucks because of two days taking cab to work. Yishun to Harbour Front plus peak hour plus ERP plus traffic jam. NO MORE!

Ok, if you guys haven't heard, Harbour Front has a new shopping centre. VIVO city. It rocks my fucking boat. I need the girls to go there. It's some serious shit. The forever21 and the FashionCity ought to be my favourites. I wannnnnnna goooooo!!

Anyway, time to get my ass moving now. And not stop till i am all done.
Ciao bella.

Rouge

2006-10-11T19:05:00.000-07:00

A picture says a thousand words. Since i am a lazy bugger and it seems like a pain to type that many words. Here are pictures!

@ Rouge & MOS

And then the story begins...

Now, Clyde, that's just scary. U look like the Devil!

I have no clue why i keep pouting

As usual, after a while, i started making what i call my 'grinding' kakis. If i was a guy, i would totally score with the girls, i would be so good, my cupboard would spill with condoms, THAT's how confident i will be. Back to the subject, got acquainted with this girl.

She likes me, she really likes me.

And Melvin took it from there while i snuggle with my baby.

RED ALERT!

Mixing of drinks harms the brain

Oh well, everyone in the world are almost brain-dead anyway.

Me: Before u start dancing, you should first smell yourself to remind yourself

if u wore deodorant or not.

Her: You mean, like this? MMM..*drops dead.

Too stinky.

Bwuahahaha...nolah, we were getting our freak on. SO not glamour sia.

ME SEE PODIUM! ME WANT DANCE ON PODIUM!

Hey look, i ain't exactly the most photogenic person when dancing k.

Grind with me...Relax ur mind..lalalala

Ewwwww

I am talking about my face.Oh well.

And the booooze takes effect..

WARNING! Alvin's wife not allowed to see this.

We'll use this to get free beers from him.

Blackmailing rocks!

When everyone hangs loose, what do i do? Shiok sendiri arh!!!

And Melvin gets back to work.

GGAAAAAAANNBEEEEEEEEEIIIII!!!

*nice bracelet.*ahem

HE IS THE DEVIL!!!

HE'S TELLING ALVIN, MARRYING IS A MISTAKE!

WHACK HIM!!!!

Err...guys? I think we better get out of here. he's angry,reeeally angry.

Before that, let me introdce u to the close up shot of the groom-to-be.

Or, may i add, a terribly drunk groom-to-be.

Hope u have a happy wedded life and a kick ass hangover tomorrow.

That's it for now, folks. More photos coming up. So stay tuned.

2006-10-09T19:33:00.000-07:00

The weekend was fucking awesome.

Sure, Friday was work. After which, me and Regan headed home, (funny how his house is often being referred to home..hmmm..;-)) After multiple cuddles and multiple whatever-you-wish, we reluctantly got out asses out of the house in favour of celebrating Alvin's bachelor night. Now, i believe bachelor nights are called bachelor nights for a reason. I am no bachelor. Felt a lil scared of entering that zone but Regan insisted i am as much of a guy than they are which could mean either i am very manly OR his friends are gay. I would like to choose the latter.

So, we headed out to Rouge where we have already made reservations earlier. Regan insisted that the place would have a lot of aunties because that was what happened the last time he patronized the place. Ermm... I think he went during a line dancing competition or something.pfft. Where got auntie in Rouge??? So, John Millano or something was on. I thought,'Great, live band,bleagh.'. I am very particular about bands in clubs. I like the one @ One Nite Stand, Insomnia. That's it. But I was pleasantly suprised. I like them, (it could be because i knew the lyrics of the songs they were playing) Hiphop came on during breaks and as usual, that's where u can find me on the podium. Upon a second inspection of the photos that i am gonna upload soon, i look damn fat! I swear, i didn't know! Oh well, fat or not, i just wanted to boogie and shimmy.

After that we went to MOS. (First time entering, nothing great waaaaat.Then again, i just went to the main arena) This was where Regan and Alvin got drunk, where Melvin persistently pursued this lawyer girl who did not want to tell him that she was 10 years younger than him for fear of bursting his bubble. Eh, why cannot? 9-10 years difference cannot meh? Hmph!

Then being the doting girlfriend that i am, i had to take care of my drunk baby. (fine!he was sick also lah) so cannot blame him.
Ok ok, this is a funny thing that happened,k, maybe not so funny. I took a cup of plain water from McDonald's without a lid on for him to drink which he didn't (duh! Drunk people would not drink plain water but they reallllyyyy should.Trust me, i should know), so in the cab, i put the cup in between my leg, and my handphone and wallet on my lap. (I was tipsy too, ok). The cab swerved and PLOP!, my phone went in the cup. SO, it is now in a coma, the keypad's not working. So people, please msg me, even if i dun reply, just msg me. Time for a new phone!Like, seriously!
We both woke up with a hangover. Wait, i woke up with a headache, he woke up with a major hangover. Can anyone say DUH?

Went back home on Sat and cleaned the house a lil. Sunday was a shopping spree.
I am stupid, i could have gotten anything i wanted that day but i was lazy. LAZY?Plus, suddenly Bugis Village sucked ass that day.
Went to Geylang too. Finally got a Baju Kebaya. So the colour for this year is RED.

I got to buy a phone.
K, Regan thinks i am loafing. What the hell, so many things i doing, he think i loafing.
So i got to go now. 3 more days and i am off from this office!
First to Bata, then to school.

2006-10-08T19:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, i know i haven't blogged for awhile.

I've been so fucking busy that everytime i wanna blog, i get so god damn tired! Even work now seems so hectic with only a week left for me to finish up all the work here. Plus all the hustle and bustle of moving and starting of school.

And also, i keep asking for my pics from Regan but he just wouldn't give me. I'll ask him again. I drank 2 cups of coffee today but it doesn't seem to help me so i guess i just have to settle with propping my eyelids up with toothpicks. Now, where did i put those emergency toothpicks?

Anyway, i'll blog when i get the pics because i am in the office now and i am too lazy and too busy to blog more. Maybe in the afternoon. See ya!

2006-10-06T02:16:00.000-07:00

I got shitloads of pictures coming this way so stay tuned till my internet's up and about again.

My family is now fucking ecstatic because they are finally debt-free which means.... SHOPPING!
Woots! I fucking cannot wait.

2006-10-04T02:46:00.000-07:00

There's this new guy in my office who just joined tis company recently and he asked for my number. Dun worry,. he's not cute.

But that's not the point. It got Regan's feathers to ruffle up quite a bit and i dun know why i keep blushing whenever i think about it. Because it is nice to be cared for so much till your partner feel protective over you. And it is even nicer when he tries to pretend as if his reaction is nothing to be so excited about. As if it did not mean shit. And that's the best part. What's the difference in his protectiveness?
It is almost innocent, like a child protecting its toy so that other kids cannot even touch it.

I dun know how he does it but i manage to like him more and more everday and it's almost half a year we are together.
And everyday, i learn new things about everything. I am not one for gushing, which was why i dun really post out my feelings for him in many entries. And furthermore, i wouldn't want him to think that i am the kinda girl who feels about everything(which i do) and lives on castles i build in the air. (which i dun).

Because i am practical. I am. But with my feelings for him growing everyday, sometimes, i get emotional too. And i dun wanna be the kinda girl who talks about how beautiful it is to be involved with someone so great almost everyday. Eventhough i am feeling it.

Honestly, i am also not very expressive except to my dear ones. So i'll keep my expressions of the contents found within my fragile heart with my dear ones. And when i actually write about it, it must mean i will burst in ecstasy if i dun express it. Because i am proud. Proud that i am with someone honest, naggy, irritating, retarded and someone who calls me monkey for not apparent reason.
And i am proud that he is mine.

Ok, i reaaally got to go now. I am starting to sound like..ugh...a girl!

2006-10-04T00:31:00.000-07:00

Sorry bout the pics delay. My internet really out and i cannot steal other people's wireless already so i might have to wait. Damn!

Anyway, nothing much is happening now except for the hustle and bustle of moving.
Bought this peacock like ear-rings. I find it quite nice but Regan says it looks alive and he flung it with that stupid 'petrified' face.

Anyway, i am outz. 9 more days to go.
Fi's and Sha's bdaes are coming. Hmm....girls?

2006-10-03T00:04:00.000-07:00

Now, it has dawned upon me that i seem to be too busy to show the people who matters to me how much i care about them. Please do not think that i am too busy with my life to even care about you guys anymore.
I do, because this care bloomed from admiration to protectiveness when people take advantage of your flaws to the gooey and happy feeling when you happen to get a great guy. A friendship which grew from a hi to a call at night when u feel fucked up and the other person dun mind listening. You guys are where i run to, other than the boyfriend to remember that life is great and we can take all the challenges flung at us with a laugh. From happy feelings to drowning our sorrows downing tequilas.

Bib, Hani, Fi, Sha, Nya and Shyanne. This is for you guys. Because if this world had no guys, i would marry all of you.
And Sha and Shyanne, where the hell are you guys??

2006-10-02T19:28:00.000-07:00

I know many of us, girls, have to deal with our boyfriends sometimes caught ogling at hollywood actresses, cooing about how gorgeous they are and us girls also thinking, 'damn,i wish i looked like her'. You can. Seriously. WIth a whole lot of gunk on your face and a nice dress, anyone can. Eventhough some actresses really were born with natural beauty, leading to the 'ohhs and ahhs' from us, there are some that are disappointing. The kinda disappointment where you have a one night stand with a hot chick and find her without makeup the next day and have a hell of a shock, leading you to grab your belongings and run far far away. Or when you meet a chick with racks to boot and put all your effort in just to bring her home but when you unhook her bra, you find longans instead of watermelons(ahh, the magic of the wonderbra).

I was having a discusssion about the ratings of how hot the cast of Desperate Housewives were with a guy friend of mine in poly.
So we agreed,
1) Gabrielle
2) Bree
3)Teri Hatcher (forgot her name in the show)
4)we dun really care what's after this.

Then he added that the ratings would totally reverse itself if we talk about them without makeup. I was like, nah, eva has natural beauty. He stopped walking, in the middle of the school's auditorium, turned to face me and said, 'You must be kidding me'. I said,'Yah, i saw her on this live interview and she had no makeup on and she still looked great'. And he said,'Eh, Goondu, that must be her wearing about 10 layers already sia!'. I still did not believe him. So he did not talk to me the whole time we smoked. Idiot.

Hell yeah, i was soo wrong.

(Some of you might have seen it but hey, it doesn't hurt to see it again. K, maybe it does but oh well.)

Eva.

With and Without

Holy shit. Now we know that if she can be the cause for guys' (and some girls') wet dreams, then we girls can make the guys swim in theirs.
Ripoff.

Also, we want to do makeup just like how it was done on J lo, Angelina Jolie. But take away their stylists and what do you get? Wrong foundation, 'mama' colours all over the place. Dun believe me? Trust me, i was shocked too.

After and Waaaaaay before.

Beyonce siaaaa!
Dun mind me, with a office that blocks most websites, i am only stuck with celebrity gossips, and this was too good to ignore.
Aite, gotta go now.
Now, stop crying cause we dun look like them. Celebrate. *cackle.

2006-10-01T19:33:00.000-07:00

Went to Jb yesterday. Photos up later.

Oh gosh, the house is almost barren now. All packed up.. almost.
I am so freaking tired right now, i'll never stay up late if i have work the next day ever again.

Today, i went to work late. Had to go make a u turn back to my home to get my wallet. How dumb is that? Bleagh.
I have been eating so much, it is not even funny. Now with my hair all rebonded and flat for the next 3 days or so, i just really realised how much weight i put on. SO, off to the gym and dance routine again. Which is all good since i am getting lazier and lazier.

Now, the hard part, to get my ass to actually do it. Bleagh. Both me and Regan have both been putting on weight, man. That just sucks.

I am so fucking tired, i just feel like having one day to just sleep in. But since a day to myself is now a luxury, i'll just postpone it and just have a fucking early night tonight. Or tomorrow.

To tell you the truth, i have no idea what to blog about but i need to chase this sleepiness away.
Ooh, got myself a new pair of spectacles, turned out, the whole time i was using degrees which are higher for my left eye.No wonder it is always tired. Stupid optometrist. How can he take it so lightly and say that it is okay to wear it? It's not like wearing a brown skirt if you dun have a black one, buster. We are talking about the windows of my soul here. Stupid apek.

Turned out, i had to pay much more than what i expected for my rebonding because i took the Loreal package or something like that, i think it costs like $250 here in singapore which is much more than what i paid in JB.

I can't fucking wait to move and go to Ikea to decorate my new room. My brother's such a dreamer. He said that he wanted to get a mini bar and a fridge in his room, (yeah, it is kinda big.), and i was thinking,there is already a bar in the living room where we can store all the vodkas and whisky in the world, complete with their own respective shotglasses. A shotglass made for tequila only, one for gin/whisky, one for 'colourful' shots like kamikaze, you name it. There was even one for Mexican tequila but we threw that away because it was ugly and Mexican tequila sucks. Not just that, we have a fridge in the kitchen which always has nothing inside, then why in the hell does he want those. Plus, he has a sister he can order around to get it for him if he is lazy. There you go! What more can you ask for? Waste so much money for whaaat?

But seriously, i cannot wait for school to start. The studying, the relaxed environment.Nat, Jonna, CJ, the somking corner, Naked Fish restaurant. So much free time, i dun even know what to do with it. Regular trips to Tampines, ah, let the 18 arrive as soon as possible. I love being a student. And an 18 year old one at that. Gosh, i love youth. And i sure as hell love being a girl. I need to do more shopping before school starts, man. New garbs for a new sem. I am so blardie excited yaar.

Tell me one hidden shopping paradise here in singapore can? i wanna find these kinda places but i dun know where!

2006-09-29T10:50:00.000-07:00

Self indulging

One more?

Last.

Aite, that's it for now folks.

2006-09-29T00:06:00.000-07:00

Friday- Go home and pack my belongings
Saturday- Pack more belongings
Sunday- Getting hair done! Finally. Can't wait.

My parents are coming along to JB(I do my hair in a place in JB) since my mum wants to do her hair as well. So hopefully, they are paying which means i could get my digicam fixed! *prays. Fucking no warranty you see and to fix the stupid LCD, i was wondering if i should just get a new one.
Feels so nice cancelling off things on ur wishlist. Which i have not done in a looong time.

So long peeps. It's three now. 3 more hours to go.
Not that it is a long time. Time flies here. Dang. My period's coming.
Feel bloated, horny and plain lazy. Tsk. It all does not tally up.

2006-09-28T19:33:00.001-07:00

Once again, we seem to hit another Friday. But well, i ain't exactly happy but well, nobody's gonna wait for me to be happy. Life goes on.

Yesterday, i managed to pack up some of my things, which is only a meagre amount of clothes(which is so about to change) and my last semester's books(which my brother wants me to keep just in case he goes back to school), and my bags. I feel sad that i am about to leave this house because i have just grown accustomed to it. Oh well, at least there would be an air conditioning unit in my room for those days where beads of sweat just forbids me to get comfortable and get some shut eye.

Was looking through my past posts and i realise i am only doing what is on my resolutions for 2004(!) now! I am so way behind but i am glad i stepped up to it, nevertheless. Better late than never,right? Now, there is 3 mnths left to 2006, let's chase the resolutions i have yet to achieve now.

To lose weight -Status: I lost 3 kg tis year. Bad. Not enough.
To not have laziness be a hindrance to me - Status: I am very proud of this one. I used to be so lazy,i wun go to school for 4 whole days and just roll in bed. 4 Days!
To be more agressive, confidence in what i say and do.(Since i am full of uncertainties) - Status: Need lots of help
To save up -Status: Slowly but surely
Exercise discipline - Status: I get to work and have only taken two days off. Woots!
Learn to cook- Status: LOL.'nuff said.
Clear my wishlist -Status:Slowly but surely

Had a terrible dream yesterday night. And a stupid one, at that. Yesterday, i was reading Dawn Yang's blog to see what the hoopla about her was all about. And i dreamt that she and I were best friends. I find her gorgeous, just to get that clear. And so, i introduced Regan to her. So, everything was fine and dandy.

Me and Regan were staying in this chalet kinda place. It was real nice with a high ceiling and all. So, we were cuddled up in a big bean bag watching 'Army of Darkness' (trust me, this was part of the nightmare. STUPID movie. Insane!) and we were casually talking. And i asked him, what did you think of Dawn Yang? And he anwered she was nice. And i said, Nice in bed ah? And he gave me a look that said, 'How the fuck did she know?' And i asked him, did he sleep with her after i introduced them? And he gave me a sheepish smile(!) and said yeah.

LIKE WTF?!? And i got so pissed, i started beating him up, like seriously, he was bleeding and his nose was broken and all he did was to give me a creepy smile. SO FUCKING SCARY. I remember in the dream, i even tried pinching myself so that i knew it was a dream but i did not wake up. I thought it was for real siah. I woke up with a jump and let out a relieved sigh. Like what the fuck, right?? LOL.

Wait, haven't finish yet. I fell asleep again and the dream continued! Apparently, he did not feel any remorse and i was hurting like mad. I started clearing my stuff from that house.Psst, i chanced upon this pictre of myself in a bikini looking like a model,(things like this always happen in dreams). But that was not the point. (The bikini was so nice!) THAT'S NOT THE POINT! Then he was listening to his Ipod(he hates Ipod, he is a Creative guy) and mopping the kitchen floor(?) completely ignoring me. And he told me that he was kidding. The kinda thing someone would say to just end the drama. And for a moment, i felt guilty for over reacting but i went with my instincts and left. SO INSANE!

Firstly, he wouldn't cheat. Secondly, why is dawn yang in the picture? Thirdly, i won't be so psycho as to beat him up. And fourth, i would never look like a model.(once again. this is irrelevant)

But i would like that bikini though.

Haiyoh! stupid dream siah! Anyway, i got to go now. I can't access the tagboard now because my internet's down and the office blocks Cbox so, wait ah, if there is any tags. *hint hint. Go tag!

2006-09-28T03:35:00.000-07:00

The weekend will change me. That i know.

Wish me luck.

2006-09-26T22:16:00.002-07:00

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck.

Why? Why must i move out so soon. Why? When i am dying for some out time with the girls, (i swear to god, i am almost dying here out of missing them too much), my mum strutted in the room, points a finger at me and my brother and say,'None of you are going out this weekend, we got to move out of here, most probably by next week'. And we, being the filial children that we are,(we are!) have to muffle our objections by stuffing the nearest ball of socks we can find in our mouth and dutifully cancel all of our plans, no questions asked.
I have made a pact to myself. To live today for today. I have gone through all the daily mundane things in life, hanging on to yesterday, questioning the future and completely ignoring the present. Due to that attitude, i always feel not contented and hang on to rules created by myself from the lessons of the past. And what does it do to me? I dun feel grateful for anything. My mum said, when someone hands you a rope, dun choke urself, use the rope wisely. Life hands me a rope. And i am going to have a hell of a good time.

Now, let's get to the 'days of our lives' events. I got to work real late today,much to the annoyance of Regan. This was suprising because i swear my body could wake up at 7 even without the help of an alarm clock. I think it was because my brother woke me up for 'sahur' which was stupid because i knew i was not going to puasa and he is not going to puasa. Then macam paham, both of us said the prayer and slept, woke up and smoked a stick each. Wasting my time siah.

Getting my pay today but it is useless because after paying for my Ipod and rebonding my hair, i would have a lil left and just now, my mum just called me to borrow me some money. What to do, must say yes,mah.
K, enough of that. It's making my stomach turn.

I miss it when you let go of everything around you and just indulge yourself in me. We can stay in bed doing nothing but talk. Yes, we used to talk. A lot, actually. Now i understand why girls in relationships are so irritating. Suddenly, i dun think for myself anymore. My opinions have to wait for confirmation from him. That is so not supposed to be the case. And baby, please note that this is a self-analysis of myself and is not caused by you. I do miss how we can talk for hours without u being distracted though. But then again, who can tahan me talking for so long, right? Yep.

Oh well, off to sort out the boxes now.
I apologize that i dun seem to have any activities to cover now so most of my posts are self reflections. I am an emotional person, you see.so this is my ranting ground. It might or not make sense the next day but this is an accurate description of how i am feeling right NOW. So, i apologize if there are contradictions in between the entries or within an entry itself.

Signing off,
That girl.

2006-09-26T01:02:00.000-07:00

I CAN'T BELIEVE HADY WON!

What the fuck is wrong with you guys?? Ok, i'll let u guys have it la. He can sing better than Jonathan but he can never reach the vocal ability of Taufik Batisah no matter how much i despise that stupid mat. But sial lah!! Jonathan had the whole package. The whole stage presence. I let u guys off when Sly did not win. But that was stupid cause i was only rooting for him for his smile. So, ok, Taufik, I can accept. But hady?!? He is so..bleeeeaaagh!

B-O-R-I-N-G!

Whatever lah. I swear Singaporeans piss me off.

I think i ought to change my blogskin now. It looks so sad and morbid,wrong colour for such beautiful days. I knew September will rock. I just hope October's better and by the direction of the wind, i have a feeling,October will be so much better, if it's even possible.

2006-09-25T23:33:00.000-07:00

Hello world.

The previous post was something i would have written in my diary, when i asked Regan what he thought about it, he said,'He wanted to puke'. For a moment, i was stunned but oh well, he is what u call a GUY guy. So i figured, what the hey, let's put it down to 'The men dun get it'. Yes, again.

So, the chalet was good. I went to Tampines first before going to the chalet. Upon reaching, tampines interchange, i thought, 'Why not just give Bib a call?' As expected, they were nearby, so went to meet them first before reluctantly leaving almost immediately. Met my god-mum for a bit, then made my way down to the chalet. I should have gone a lil later because they played PS2. *sigh. So me being there or not would not prove to be much of a difference with the existence of that evil box.

The next morning, the guys played soccer. I wasn't allowed to play. Blah! I was sooooo pissed. Because he told me i could. But then again, i dun think he even realised that i was pissed so i busied myself by taking vanity shots of myself in the room. Then i thought, oh well, what the hell, grabbed a beer and went outside to watch them play. Made kebabs like the day we first met. And you know how it went from there, the normal stuff, bbqing, drinking, chitchatting.
Still nobody got high, did stupid things, no nudity was involved. Except for private moments, that is. It was a chill-out chalet. Nevertheless, it was fun. It was also his birthday and i felt so bad that i could not make it any more special. I was broke and my parents were being well., parents. I'll make it up to you, k baby?

So, here i am, back at work. I really need to lose weight. I feel so self-conscious, i am not even as horny anymore!*gasp! So i think i better buck up my idea before i become so lazy, i won't even move and the only position i wanna be in is sitting on the couch with a bag of potato chips on my belly for easier access. Also, my hair is shit. I feel so disgusting, i am starting to feel insecure about everything. Drats! Nothing's worse than an insecure Cancerian girl. Except Naomi Campbell's temper.

Another bad thing is, my internet connection's not working for now. And i have to clean the house by this Thursday. Like, hello, can wait please? Gah, to tell you the truth, i am just freaking grouchy because of my hair. I know, it is ridiculous but great hair make up 80% of ur looks and confidence. So please,MTV, pimp my hair. i am so funny.. cannot take it. hahahaha..*ahem.

So, my cheque already in. Though it wasn't the amount i was expecting, i guess, it ain't wise to be greedy. Hmm...
Guess that's it for now/ Gotta go. See ya.

2006-09-22T01:23:00.000-07:00

You know you are hopeless when u blog twice within one day. But I can't help it. Today is a freaking Friday for goodness' sake. I really dun feel like doing anything work-ish. But i know i cannot just sit my ass in front of the computer and not do anything. The best thing is, there are a few things i could clear up today..but.. i just dun feel like it. Ya ya, i am gonna go head and do it soon lah.

I seriously cannot wait for school to start balls. With the practise i had working, i dun even think 8 o'clock lectures are difficult anymore. Especially since i won't have to spend 30 FREAKING minutes every day to do my hair. You know what 30 minutes means to me in the morning? Just dying to hit the damn snooze button but i can't do it because,why? I got to blowdry my stupid hair, if it was a trend, i won't hesistate to cut my hair all off. Provided i lose like 5 kg or something.

I think i exercised a lot of self-discipline yesterday. Eventhough i was very very sleepy, i still managed to download songs in MY IPOD,do the laundry and clean my room a lil bit before going to sleep.Plus, i have been very disciplined about my carb intake as well, not inclusive of the french fries i had just now. I'll pat myself on the back but i have to pretend to look extremely busy so my hands are full. Just gave my timesheet for my boss to sign. He just glanced at it and signed. Blardie hell, i could have added a few hours here and there. Too bad i got another pain-in-the-ass supervisor here who knows me better than all the other people working here. Worse part is, he is my boyfriend and he is a proud member of the 'Honesty's the best policy' Association. Bah.

I can't believe it's only 4.40. Tick tock tick tock tick tock..yawwn.
I think i should just get my ass up to do something. Ya, that sounds good. No, actually it doesn't but if i remain sitting here another minute, my ass would just turn into ice or something.

But i just can't seem to stop typing. U know, have you wondered why cynics become cynics? Is it due to the fact that the world has already shown them that believing in anything that these cynics deem to be unattainabble can cause serious disappointment and shock and that the recovery was too excruciating to even think about having hope that whatever variable it was actually could happen or exist?

One good example is love but i am not going there because i wanna get to another more important word, forever.
adj.without ever ending; eternally: always, endlessly,eternally, unchangingly

Let's mix these two words together. I'll use a phrase,'I'll love you forever'.
In this argument,young minahs and ah lians who go around saying i love u to everyone are not included because they dun realise that guys dun think twice of whispering sweet nothings just so they could get young pussy which explains why they also use their words flippantly.
I am talking about people who take pride in being themselves and are going for something more than just a good fuck. More than intoxicated one-night stands.

I truly believe that the ultimate love is God's love for you. In which case, Regan agrees.
Second to this is the love for yourself. Here, some might argue that the second should be ur mum.
Sorry to say, i have not much faith in family ties. I might substitute this with my brother though since he was a dad and a mum to me, the best way he knew how. So ok, love for family comes close to loving urself. The way my family works, you dun love urself,u do stupid things, u are pretty much nothing in their eyes. So yeah.

Anyway, love between man and woman is by far the most sacred and beautiful of them all next to the two mentioned above.
See, for me, i dun believe in love having definitions. For him, love has a definition.
But let's forget about him now for a moment and out of the mindset that i am just saying this because i am in a relationship. This is just me talking.

Having a definition about love is like having a definition about God. U can never be sure unless u see. Some people view religion as the Voice Within, some call it Mother Nature(like,literally, the plants,the environment), some depend on history, some don't believe in God at all.
But who we kidding? (I am talking about love now).It's there or not, there would still be this thing, this force, these questions people are asking to explain it. But u can't.
Because it varies for everybody. And even then, it varies at every stage of your life.

Getting back to the loving urself, find yourself. So that anybody who actually do fall in love with you (sweet demure girl) won't get a shock of his life (Scary Spice). When u fall in love with somebody, u admire his quirks, his core values, the way he treats people..yadaa yadaa.

Moms always say,'You are too young to know what's love' What crap nonsense is that? Just because now u have been hurt before, have some bills to pay and a thousand pound of stress on ur head, you know? i say, Love differs.

At 9, you love the boy who always give you ice creams at the playground. You think he gives them to everyone but u are certain he looked at you a lil longer than usual each time.
At 13, you love the way the guy broods and sulk at everyone else but turns into a whole mush with you. He acts all punk but goes to the market with his mum.
At 20, you begin to be more secure, you love how he inspires you to upgrade yourself. How he taps into ur lil girl side yet commands a certain degree of independence. You love how he manages to stick to his principles no matter what. How he remains grounded.
At 30, you love the person who gives you security. A companion. Suddenly the wrinkles make him look a lil bit cuter,if possible.
At 40, you love him because he's ur best friend. You sometimes can't bear to see him because he makes u sooo angry but u can't imagine life without him.
And at 50,you just stop thinking to yourself whether it's love or not and just appreciate.

This is one of my many kinds of love. Believe me, there are lots. Love is permanent. Even if u are not with that person anymore. The evidence that u once loved a person is when u say her or his name you flinch or smile because they are gonna be remembered for a verrrry long time. Whther u flinch or not, dun make it a lesson to never love again. Because there is a possibility, the next time u would smile. It's okay to not say it, just dun not feel it.
I believe in love. After years of hating it, i admit, i am only brave enough to admit it now.

The jingles

2006-09-21T20:34:00.000-07:00

-The jingles in a sleek Nano.

I finally got it. It's beautiful.*sigh.

YEAH!!

It's freaking Friday. Thank god it's Friday. Heading down to Tampines later on to meet my god-mum for a bit. And then head down to Pasir Ris for Regan's chalet. The good news is, I am excited like hell. The bad news is i am broke again. *sigh.

Have not been meeting my brother much nowadays due to his work and his coming home damn late. I dun even know what the hell he's selling or what he's doing.*sigh. We are tenants again.

Anyhoo, will be back with updates soon. See ya.

2006-09-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

After organizing all my stuffs and making time for whoever i need to make time for, i feel loads better. The previous post got Regan scratching his head. He does not understand how anyone can be so grouchy and down when she did not meet her girlfriends after so long. After trying hard to get an explanation for myself, i guess it is safe to put it down to, 'It's a girl's thing'. Because seriously, it is. Guys have friends to slack with but they dun go gushing to each other about every simgle thing under the sun that happened to them. They dun call each other to tell every single thought that passed through their minds, every gossip she was lucky to stumble upon and needs to be shared. While guys bury themself in games and boobs, we actually take effort to think in each other's shoes, cry for one another and keep each other strong. God knows how i would have survived the things i did without them. They were the ones who smacked me right in the head when i strayed so badly in the past. Who made sure i had my goals down pat and feel happy when i achieved them. So yeah, i guess, this is one territory guys cannot touch, because girls get girls the way no guys can ever comprehend. But this does not mean u guys matter less, it just means.. well, we are girls larr. Geddit?

Anyway, just realised my hair would not bend even with blowdrying now. It's about time. Next week, there won't be no more curly stupid hair. Went to Anchorpoint and something really amused me today. You see, the thing about my baby is he likes to act 'you-think-i-stupid-ah-i-lived-longer-than-you' and then look at me like i am the most ridiculous thing on the planet. So, today, we went to Cold Storage to get his toiletries and his card bailed out on him. (there was a dent or something) so he used my money first. I gave him 10 bucks and told him to keep the change so that it would be easier to pay me back. And he gave me that look. *pause* and proceeded on to say,' I know lah, you think i stupid ah? i live longer right?...' while putting his cash in the wallet. And that goondu headed right to the wrong escalator. Ah, that feeling i felt, God is kind. I dun even need to defend myself. Apparently, ten years more living on Earth taught u a lot of things. After which he gave me his spoilt brat pout and i stopped making fun of him.Bwuahahaha. Jk, baby. MUAX.

After work, we (Thipa, Clyde,his mum,me and Regan) headed down to Marina Bay to have Regan's birthday dinner in advance. Had chili crab, prawns.. yummy. The food was not WOW but the freshness was awesome. The crab was springy and juicy though the flavour was not so absorbed in the crab but well, it was still okay. The prawns were freaking nice as well. Eventhough chilli ones are the best but a prawn in any other sauce would taste as splendid. All in all, it was nice. Wished i could have forked out a lil bit of cash too but broke this time so, another time perhaps. Headed down to this place which i am not supposed to say because we wanted it to be our lil secret. Apparently, there were stars which i could not see because i was as blind as the bat which flew above us, or so, Regan said. My contacts are giving me problems again, which means now, i would just settle for non-coloured one and get a cheap pair of specs too, just in case i dun want all that hassle for that day. I left for home feeling full, tired and very much happy. I just needed a breath of fresh air out of home, i guess.

I think the pay's coming in sooner than expected. I wonder if i can squeeze a ladies' night before school starts. Hmmm....Or we could do co-ed too but the guys must pay. bwuahaha. I love ladies' nite! Working a lil overtime today which is all swell since he gets cab allowance.

Oh, and if u are feeling under the weather and you just dun know what is the matter with you, engage in a lil intimate lovemaking or 'like-making', it helps.
Trust me.

2006-09-18T23:33:00.000-07:00

Somehow or rather the euphoria is starting to diminish. I was starting to look at things that i am about to do as something new and fun filled but now, suddenly, i feel as if it is all same old,same old. Which takes half of the kick out of any activity. It feels as if I am waiting for something bigger, better, something that would sweep me off my feet. But i know that it is just me talking because i have all of the things i whined about in the past, but still, i am not happy. I wonder from which phase of my life did i get this bad habit from? I see my teenage years go by and i dun jump into it with the heck-care attitude i once seemed to possess. Maybe i just miss my tots too damn blardie much And my god-mum. Maybe i let myself go too much, i dun know. Maybe i just recovered from a bad food posioning case and now, i want to do something fun but i can't cause i got to go to work. Actually, life's a bliss for me now. I just dun seem to understand the phrase, 'life's a party' anymore. Maybe it is just me stuck at work talking.

I just feel jaded. I know what i need. An organizer, a good pumping workout and a make over. One and a half more week till i get to smell my Ipod!. Bah! I dun even feel excited anymore.

I hope this feeling goes away soon because i got a whole lot of events coming my way. Okay, maybe not a whole lot of, but u know what i am saying..

I just feel old. I need to manage my time more efficiently now too. Taken into account the fact that i am still grounded though not very much. But still, i need to divide my time equally now. Already now, my brother have claimed Sunday to be mine and his day. Ok, i agree. Weekdays are pretty much burnt for the next month or so, only for the odd late nights here and there. I guess next week's Saturday is a TOT's DAY?! PLEASE??? I need to go to my god-mum's house this week, she has ordered me to. Great, now everyone has stopped asking me or expecting me to come by anymore. Instead, they are ordering me. Threatening would be pretty apt too. Guess that's another way of getting the message across.

Can't believe puasa's so near! I dun even know if i will be puasa-ing. See how la eh.
Whatever i am babbling about may not be able to be used against me in the court of law.

2006-09-16T23:32:00.000-07:00

The weekend passed by like multiple Fridays with no cash. Sorry Shyanne for not being able to come down for ur party! i'll make it up to you, aite, babe?
Anyway, the chalet passed by with no pictures. Regan bought a new PSP! Stupid me could have gotten my Ipod but i did not ask. Stupid stupid me!

Anyway, the weekend ended and so comes another week of work in the office.

With the prehistoric CPU and big ass puncher.

Smoking point chill out point.

My boss, my best friend and my baby

I am tired now. Will blog soon. see ya.

2006-09-14T01:48:00.000-07:00

-Life's like that.

So many years, i have always tried to find someone easy going, relaxed, witty, who dun give life much consideration and everyday's a party for him.In short, a dreamer. Someone who thinks out of the box. Which explains why for so long, i have always been with guys that i experience temporary happiness with but they come up with out-of-the world theories about life and how they handle it makes me scratch my head. And they always got dumped. Which lead to me asking, what exactly did i want?

Apparently, i did not have to find any answer to that at all because i found someone i truly like. And i don't feel just temporary happiness, it is becoming almost inbuilt. And the weirdest part is that, he is the total opposite of me. On how we view life, sure, some of the credit goes to the number of years he has been walking on the planet, but oh my, opposites do attract. Though our characteristics are scarily similar, our principles differ so very much. But like any other things i take seriously, i ain't gonna whine and shit and doubt anything or our relationship because with every new thing i learn about him, instead of fighting to get our own message across to the other and get pissed off that that person is unwilling to bend, i decide to embrace it. Because every difference being discussed, every tabboo topic, means the relationship is serious as effort is evident. It is no fling, not the usual I-can't-take-it-i-feel-so-depressed-let's-break-up-eventhough-i-know-i-dun-want-to kinda relationship. There is room for only one perfectionist in a relationship and only one dreamer. You mix them together, u get lessons.

Ya, ok. That was mushy or not, i dunnoe. Just penning down my thoughts.

2006-09-12T23:37:00.001-07:00

Okay, while daydreaming about my pay, i discovered that i am heading right into a dilemma. I have decided to blow my pay this month on an Ipod. But the thing is, which Ipod should i get? Please note that i dun need a thousand songs in my Mp3. I am using it for necessity.

(sorry about the words, from a previous post and i am at work so i cannot edit it.)

Now, the question is, it is either a 1GB or 2 GB.

I think both is okay. Enough for me but with an additional 70 bucks i could get another like 200 plus songs more. Worth it or not?

All u Ipod fanatics, please advise.

I already see my pay being blown away but oh well, money comes and goes. Might as well go peacefully. Just two more weeks. Thank god, it is two more weeks with activities happening every weekend. Plus, my results are sure to put my parents in a good mood, so Ka-Ching!

Decided against getting a car because my parents are only paying for installments but not petrol and other expenses. And i think i do not want to exhaust my cash on a car. MRT's fine with me for now.

Speaking of MRTs, let me tell you about what happened yesterday. No, no freaks in this entry. More like, I am the freak.

Okay, at 8.10, usually the train departs from Yishun itself, which means seats given priority to Yishun people but i was a lil early, thus catching the already packed MRT, i thought 'what the heck?'. Let's just aim for non-business looking people who would alight in Toa Payoh or something. So i stood in front of this young (nerdy) girl. I thought to myself,'She can't be going to Orchard now, can she?" Nah...So, i started eyeing her like a hawk, waiting to grab the seat, like playing musical chairs. (Yeah right!She alighted at Orchard).After a while, i started getting agitated and started shifting uncomfortably. People started eyeing ME.But i could not stop, something was very wrong but i had no idea what it was. I started breaking out in a cold sweat, like real sweat. Jogging sweat. The guy sitting down beside the girl looked at me funnily. I stared at him, suddenly, his face started swaying before my eyes. I thought, 'Whoah!' I felt light-headed and my mind was suddenly a screen like the TVs with no channels, black and white 'ants' all around, next thing i knew, i blacked out.Just for a bit.

Was held up by a lady. And the guy gave up his seat. I hope they did not think it was just an act to get a seat. I just thought of resting and shutting my eyes for a bit when the word 'Dhoby Gaut' (if that's how u spell it) boomed. Bloody hell.

And so, i will never ignore my growling stomach again. Store so much fats still can black out siah. Tsk.

Happiness to the unbelievable extent

2006-09-12T19:56:00.000-07:00

If i could jump for joy now, i would but since i am in the office now, i think i would much rather sit my ass on the chair and sip my milo quietly while grinning away. I just got my semestral examination's results and the most worrying part that was causing me paranoia even in my sleep can be discarded now. I passed all my tests! Woohoo. NO NEED TO RETAIN FOR ANY MODULE!

Eventhough my competitive side is not exactly happy, i know that i was very fortunate. All those lessons i skipped, all those lessons i slept through, i swear i was only awake and listening for all of one eight of the whole semester. Thank god, i bucked up in time and eventhough i could not salvage the past tests, my examinations pulled all of my marks for the module up. Note: I failed both my ICAs for Stats terribly so tell me how i could get a C+ unless i really did well for my exam? (C+ is 65-70%). Yes, if i put in my heart and soul in this semester, i would be shattered that i did not ace it but still, i didn't, not even close and i got those marks. I would also like to credit this to Regan, my bro and parents(not the nagging part) but before that. That was when i bucked up. And the nagging part all went to deaf ears because i was already doing what u guys advised me to. But well, i guess u guys were as stressed up as me. Thanks. Yippee!

What a relief! NOW i can really enjoy my holidays. I fucking can't wait for Thurday's chalet!

OMG, to think that i was partying my ass off during school even during examination period, but with this success, i learnt a lesson. To pull myself higher, to learn how to take pride in EVERY single thing i do, whatever it is. Because right now, the phrase, 'You reap what u sow' is very evident. It is not as hard as it sounds too. From studies, to work, to relationships, family, friends, sex, working out,cooking, everything. And i know i am gonna have a time of my life now. I wanna study some more! I miss school. I feel like a caged wild tiger waiting to pounce on those books now.Grrrr... FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING ECSTATIC.
Eventhough i know imma have a scolding for no aces from Regan. Better enjoy now lah before office hour ends. Tee hee.

WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!! Let's party!
Lemme hear you say this shit is bananas,
B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!
Bring out the beer.

Excitement

2006-09-11T02:49:00.000-07:00

Suddenly, i am beginning to feel very excited about the chalet though i wished i didn't have to work on Thursday. The permission from my mom who just grounded me is still pending so i don't know yet whether i am staying over. So, i am just gonna tell them on Wednesday itself.

He is bacccck! Leaving work early today so that i could spend a lil bit of time with him. Sigh. Sucks being grounded. I have never been grounded in my entire life before from my tampines mum. Oh well, different family, different rules huh? But after the talk i had with my mum yesterday, i think i dun mind so much.

Me being broke is another thing bloody pissing me off.
Whatever lah.I am just blogging to fill my time till it is 6. Today, Syarifah msged me something i found rather amusing. Halfway sorting out the tax invoices, i recieved a msg that said, 'Zuzu, you are so scary! I can smell you in the library!'. Now... what perfume did i use back in my JC days? OH...True star from Tommy Hilfiger. She still remembers how i smell. Now if that isn't sweet, i dun know what is. She is currently having her prelims now and yes, darls, i am gonna do something which is not in my habit even for myself. I am going to pray for you because i sincerely want to see you do well, and tell me that you are accepted in a University.

This lead me to ponder. Sometimes, i enter a new environment with no intentions of meeting new people or making friends, because i think i am blessed enough that i found Hani, Bib, Nys, Sha, Fi and Li in secondary school. And whatever we went through together could have broken any other friendships and eventhough i express deep dislike for the things that my friends do, i know deep within myself that i love them more than anything else. And the best part is, i love them all differently.

Hani, I love her first and foremost for her smile and i know that if anything were to happen to me, she would be the first to cry. Even before i do. Bib, she is the one that knows me really inside out and it amazes me that she still have that spark in her eyes when she sees me because the ugly side of myself that i have shown to her would have made half the population run away. Nys, the tender care that cannot be erased no matter what goes on in her life. She would flip for joy when she knows we all are meeting. Sha..where do i start? A rollercoaster friendship we have. From total adoration to deep hatred and so on. But who am i kidding? I still have a soft spot for this insane girl. The best part is, i really went through everything in detail with her. From ups,down,lukewarm,examinations,parties,tears, you name it.Fi, the more i get to know her, the deeper i feel for her, from being just the clown of the millenium with her sarcastic remarks and her amusing expressions, she has opened up to be much more than what i expected. Dun expect sweetness from her, she'll tell it to your face. And li...erm...I just do adore her. Eventhough she has been missing.

Due to this, i find it a waste of time to socialize but life has a funny way of suprising you. I found Fiz when i least expected, she knows me more than i know myself, i think. I just know that if i tried a lil harder, i could meet new people. But i'd rather follow the flow and see what life has in store for me. But for now, i feel very lucky. Yes, i believe in luck.

And i found you too baby. Who could have guessed. Interesting turn of events indeed.

Anyway, i found out that i can ton on Wednesday but there is a catch. I would have totally no money. None, zilch. Nada. Bleagh.
Hope bib calss me today, can explain to her the situation. My prepaid's a lil low. hmmm... let's plan this shit.